The founder of the North-East's first hospice was awarded an OBE in the New Year's Honours List.

She talks to Women's Editor Christen Pears about her tireless work with the terminally ill.

FOR a woman who had no qualms about selling her home to raise funds to start a hospice, Mary Butterwick seems surprisingly concerned about the prospect of a shopping trip with her daughter.

"I'm not getting my OBE until September but she thinks I should start thinking about clothes now. I'm not really looking forward to it but I suppose you have to have something special," she says, rolling her eyes. "Who'd have thought I'd have ended up going to the Palace?"

For more than 20 years, Mary has dedicated her life to the care of the terminally ill and their families. Those who know her are surprised that she hasn't been honoured before but she has never looked for any recognition; her work is reward enough.

"People have stopped me in the streets over the years and asked why I don't have an OBE or something. I told them it didn't bother me so it certainly shouldn't bother them, but it's still nice to have."

In the hour or so I spend with her on one of the sofas in the foyer of the Butterwick Hospice, at least 20 people stop to say hello. Some congratulate her on her OBE. She thanks them politely but it's clear she doesn't want any fuss.

Wearing a denim dress, one side of her hair held off her face in a sparkly clip, she looks a lot younger than her 79 years and she is so full of energy it's difficult to believe she's a great grandmother. A large silver crucifix hangs from a chain round her neck, an outward symbol of the faith that has sustained and inspired her since her husband's death from a brain tumour in 1979.

"I always thought I had a strong faith. I was brought up a Christian and I always went to church, but I didn't know God. When my husband died, it changed everything.

"I knew there had to be a purpose but I didn't know what. I certainly didn't imagine founding a hospice but God helped me through my searching and I know this is what he wants me to do."

Her faith is an integral part of both her life and her work, and she talks about God frequently and easily.

Mary began her remarkable journey in 1979, following the death of her husband, aged just 54. The first they knew of his illness was when he began to complain of double vision. He was taken to hospital, where it was discovered he had been suffering from lung cancer, although he had no symptoms. The brain tumour was a secondary cancer and, within a few weeks, he was dead.

"I was completely ignorant about cancer. No one talked about it in those days. It was a dirty word, like death, and it was just shovelled away under the carpet."

It's difficult to get people to understand what the situation was like, she says, because practices have improved so much since then. She was only allowed to see John once a day and even then, it was often just for 45 minutes.

"The matron actually told me to go home and forget my husband because there was nothing I could do for him. That was cruel but I realise now she didn't know any better. She was just doing her job."

Although she had no complaints about the treatment her dying husband received, she was shocked and hurt by the hospital's seemingly uncaring attitude. "They saw to him medically but they didn't help him as a person. They certainly didn't help me or my family. I felt we were treated very badly and I didn't want other people to go through the same thing."

Following John's death, she trained as a bereavement counsellor, and threw herself into improving facilities for terminally-ill patients and their families. She was so convinced of the need for her work, she sold her home to help buy a run-down house in Hartburn Lane in Stockton, which she turned into a drop-in centre.

"I think people thought I was a stupid person but I wasn't at all. I needed to raise money but I was a 54-year-old widow. Who was going to listen to me? I didn't just suddenly decide to sell my house. I sat down and made a list of all the pros and cons and I asked God what I should do."

By now, she had formed the John Butterwick Trust, and was firing off hundreds of letters asking for funding. Her perseverance paid off. The centre was opened in 1984 and ran for five years, offering a range of activities to help take patients' minds off their suffering.

"I'll never forget one man who came for a year. He used to come along and paint and when we had our first anniversary, I asked him if he would write a piece in the parish magazine about the house.

"He knew he was dying but he said that for the first time in his life, he felt fulfilled. All I could do was weep with humility."

But Mary was still feeling her way. She had established the principles of love and care that are the backbone of the Butterwick Hospice but she was only beginning to realise what sort of organisation she wanted to create.

"I have to be honest, I didn't know anything about hospices for about three or four years but then I came across a book about the hospice movement. I was gobsmacked. It was talking about things I was already doing."

At the time, she was visiting day centre patients and their families in their homes but the trust was then given the opportunity of buying a former convent. It opened in 1988 as the region's first hospice.

"I knew through God that we had to have beds in the community and we were able to have six in the convent. It was wonderful, really wonderful."

But the hospice continued to grow, and Tees Health Authority invited the Butterwick movement to buy a plot alongside North Tees General Hospice. A purpose-built 20-bed hospice opened on the site in 1995. The Trust later took over the running of a new hospice in Bishop Auckland, paid for by supporters of Macmillan Cancer relief, and opened a children's hospice, paid for, in part, by readers of The Northern Echo.

"After my husband died, I knew I had to do something but if someone had said to me all those years ago that I was going to open a hospice, I wouldn't have known what to think. You never know what God has planned for you round the corner."

* For more information about the Butterwick Hospice, or to make a donation, telephone (01642) 607742.