Lasses with plenty of front

"I FEEL I have been put on this planet to do what I do," proclaimed Linsey Dawn McKensie as she dribbled milk over her bare 34FFF breasts.

Quite why Glamour Girls should feature in a series labelled Girls Behaving Badly is beyond me. Are the producers (an all-women production team, I might add) suggesting that baring breasts for a living adds up to bad behaviour?

Anyway, this was another excuse to show lots of bare boobs under the guise of an examination of a social phenomenon. The chance for male viewers to watch in open-mouthed amazement, and female ones to debate why some women want to improve on what nature has given them.

The main reason seems to be the pursuit of fame and fortune. Linsey, now 24, has been modelling since she was 15 and proudly boasts of having the biggest natural boobs in the business.

Her mother, Lesley, is in two minds about what she does. "I do wish she did something else, but I'm proud of what she's achieved," she commented tactfully.

Linsey herself confessed that she'd been an outgoing girl from a young age. "I always had front," she said, amusingly.

It took three operations for Ashley Bond to achieve her ambition to have the biggest breasts in Britain. She married her promotions manager husband Lee five years ago but their union is not without problems. "I'm not a boob man, to be honest," admitted Lee.

Sex is difficult too because Ashley's assets "get in the way" and, as she noted, you can hear the water in her breasts "sloshing about" during intimate moments.

Bristol housewife Cathy Barry, the UK's number one porn star, has no such problems. Husband Phil directs her films. After a hard day watching his wife have sex with other people, he goes home and does the same thing without the cameras rolling.

The Victorians, who covered up table legs for fear of giving offence, would not have been amused by any of this. Besides, they were too busy imposing their will on other countries, as Empire demonstrated.

Niall Ferguson's series about the British Empire reached India, a continent ruled by the Brits for two centuries. India was the rock on which the whole British Empire was built.

He talked of "the annihilation of distance", of how the world shrunk because of British technology. The arrival of the telegraph system, for instance, meant news from India could reach this country within a couple of hours by telegram.

During the Indian summer, the British headed for the hills. As temperatures in the cities reached 45 degrees in the shade, the seat of government moved to Simla, where the climate was more reminiscent of the old country. They didn't need any glamour girls to get them hot under the collar.