Men... they're all just teenage boys at heart - Manchild (BBC2)

THIS returning series isn't so much a British male version of Sex And The City as Older Men Behaving Badly. Or, more accurately, Dirty Old Men Growing Old Disgracefully.

Dashing Nigel Havers, Buffy The Vampire Slayer's Anthony Head, Ray Burdis and Don Warrington get to utter four-letter words, display their flesh, talk dirty and - some of them - have sex with nubile young girls. A sort of wet dream for men experiencing a mid-life crisis.

The tone was set by the opening voiceover from Terry (Havers) as he prepared to tee off on the golf course: "There's nothing in this world like holes to motivate a man, whether it's a stupendously long putt, a goal, a hoop, or the sticky lips of a gorgeous..."

Happily, he was cut off in his prime and silenced before things became too embarrassing. That wasn't the end of Terry's problems. His much younger girlfriend Melissa had asked him for something, he told his friends. "A lift to school in the morning?" wondered one. "A hand with her homework?" said another, the joking concealing their envy at his success with younger women.

What she wanted was for him to pay for her to have her breasts enlarged. James (Head) was not sure the financial outlay was worth it as "the rate he gets through girlfriends, it's like bankrolling another man's fondle".

Melissa's breasts, quite honestly, looked perfectly fine as they were, but she was determined to get Terry to bankroll the operation - and had her own special way of making him say, 'yes". Unfortunately, it's one I can't detail in a family newspaper.

Gary (Burdis) was looking for an extra-special 25th anniversary present for his wife. Renting her a toyboy for the night was the best idea his pals suggested. Cheryl seemed to be thinking along the same lines when she noticed a Cumberland sausage on a visit to a butcher's shop (this being the sort of establishment frequented by long-married couples) and declared: "I always like to try something different, you don't always want the same old sausage".

Gary's solution to celebrate was actually rather sweet. He tracked down the 1965 Ford Anglia in which he and Cheryl had first become intimately acquainted nearly 30 years ago. Armed with pie and chips, they had a grand time in the back seat.

Recalling old times, he wondered if she remembered what romantic things he'd said to her on that distant occasion. Of course she did: "Put your hand round this and give it a good shake."

Brief but brilliant

Brief Encounter, Middle Ground Theatre Company, Gala Theatre, Durham

DESPITE having the kind of emotional dramatic impact equivalent to threatening to bomb Iraq by tricycle, this stage adaptation of director David Lean's classic 1945 film still flicks at the heart-strings.

There's Britain's obsession with the railways and the reminder of old-style, steam-powered platform tea rooms where a slightly bored housewife meets an everyday married doctor and they enjoy a sexless love affair. "Get on with it" might well be the cry from the back of the stalls in today's divorce-laden society, but former Brooksider Karen Drury, as Laura, and veteran London's Burning actor Richard Walsh, as Alec, provide a well-mannered tribute to film originals Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard.

Stilted, middle-class and hopelessly outdated, any glimmer of interest comes from a beautiful set and special effects created by director Michael Lunney and designer Ali Gorton. Both also appear in cameo roles with Lunney taking the role of Laura's very understanding husband, the crossword-before-bed Fred. The comedy moments created through the joint powers of Lean himself, Noel Coward, Ronald Neame and Darlington's own Anthony Havelock-Allan are just as timeless. Bolshie "I'm in charge" tea room boss Myrtle (Lynette McMorrough), put-upon waitress Beryl (Penelope Rawlins) and Myrtle's not-so-secret ticket collector admirer Albert (Nick Wilton) provide some laughter against unfulfilled passion.

A better attempt than the 1975 TV disaster featuring Richard Burton and Sophia Loren, this is an encounter to be enjoyed by Ovalteenies who enjoy a good dollop of nostalgia.

Viv Hardwick

l The event marked the opening of the Gala's renamed The Studio restaurant which will take bookings Tuesday to Saturday, 5.30pm-9.30pm. Manager Peter Bradley and staff members Donna Mann and Andrea Lloyd gave some customers a taste of the fine fare to come. Bookings on 0191-3324044.

Brief Encounter runs until Saturday. Box Office: 0191-332 4041

The girls are back in town

Girls' Night Out, Middlesbrough Theatre

FORGET the Cheeky Girls... the cheeky boys are in town this week, sending North-East audiences into a frenzy of delight with their own comical brand of flesh-fest fun.

Spacemen, bikers, James Bond, even Merlin the Wizard and his magic "wand", make an appearance as five male stippers bare (almost) all in this fantasy-packed production.

The action is loosely based around a hen night. The heavily pregnant bride-to-be, her sex-starved sister, dopey cousin and brassy Auntie Ivy hit a local night spot for a night of testosterone-fuelled fun - only to realise they recognise one of the strippers better than they expected.

Don't expect the plot to get any more complicated than this. Even if it did you wouldn't hear the script over the cackling and delighted audience.

But this production is constantly updated with up-to-the-minute references and music to keep the laughs going, and this time the dance routines included music from Robbie Williams, Oasis and, of course, the Cheeky Girls - plenty of whom made themselves known in the audience too.

Michelle Hedger

* Girls' Night Out runs until Saturday. Box Office: (01642) 815181