The Grim Repeat comes calling in Soapland again. He's run out of patience with Roy Evans selling dodgy second-hand cars and come to take away the keys for good.

This means the car dealer will leave Albert Square not in the usual mode of transport, a taxi, but a hearse. Poor Roy needs putting out of his misery as life in EastEnders (BBC1) has been pretty miserable for him. There's been daughter-in-law Natalie's dithering between husband Barry or lover Ric-kee. Roy has also been living in fear of death or serious injury from wife Pat's jumbo-size ear-rings. And there's the exasperation of having son Barry, the most useless man in Walford, living under the same roof.

No wonder this all gets too much for Roy. It's curtains after many anxious hours around the bedside at Walford General. The fallout from his death is pretty disastrous. Upset Barry takes it out on Pat, telling her to pack her bags - and, adding insult to injury, insists on searching them (what for?) before throwing her out into the street. The idea of anyone throwing Big Pat anywhere is not one you want to contemplate on a full stomach. Peggy and Sharon rally round Pat in the face of Barry's pigheadness.

Round at Phil Mitchell's, the enigmatic Kate - the one who looks the spitting image of Corrie's Nurse Martin's former lover - has to decide where her loyalties lie. The operative word is lie, because that's what she's been doing to prise Phil's secrets from his bulky frame. She wants Phil to talk about Lisa, the woman he left behind or murdered in Portugal. Don't worry, Kate, he'll soon be afflicted by a nasty case of the flashbacks and all will be revealed.

In Coronation Street (ITV1), the charmless Peter Barlow continues to get his, and everyone else's, knickers in a twist. The scenario goes something like this: Sister Tracey threatens to tell Shelley the truth - that he is seeing two women at the same time. He promises pregnant fiancee Lucy he will tell not-pregnant fiancee Shelley the truth. Then Shelley's sister takes a turn for the worse and Peter can't bring himself to add to her worries. Lucy is furious. Tracey is furious. Shelley remains in ignorance.

As Shelley's sister is inconsiderate enough to die this week, Peter faces an even bigger problem after discovering he's booked for a wedding (to Lucy) and a funeral (Shelley's sister) on the same day. It'll take split second timing for keep him out of trouble and, frankly, I don't reckon the honeymoon is going to be much fun.

The wonderful Karen McDonald continues to annoy husband Steve of the Dancing Eyebrows by getting very chummy with her boss Joe. They go clubbing as a "team building" exercise. Well, that's a new name for it. Naturally enough, Steve is furious and gives his wife an ultimatum: it's him or Joe. Karen's reaction has a crazy logic - if Steve reckons she's slept with Joe, then she might as well climb into the sack with him.

More wedding woes in Emmerdale (ITV1) as Bob's teenage daughter Dawn prepares to walk down the aisle with the much older Terry. He brought her back from a holiday in Spain. Most people return with a stuffed donkey, but he had a prospective bride under his arm.

Bob's ex and Dawn's mum Jean is determined to ruin the day. There's an ulterior motive to her apparently nice gesture of hiring a limousine for Terry and Dawn's big day - Bob's current wife Viv had a one-night stand with the driver. The end result sees the father of the bride running into the church in a bid to stop the wedding.

Published: 13/03/2003