Soap may be the best thing to get a man out of your marriage, as we reveal ten TV ways of getting rid of your guy

Soap marriages are made in heaven but end in TV hell. Couples promise to love, honour and obey - until the scriptwriters put them asunder through death, disease or infidelity.

Nearly half the marriages in this country end in divorce, but couples in Walford and Weatherfield often don't stay together until the end of the ceremony.

Steve and Karen McDonald are the latest casualties in Coronation Street, as their marriage falls apart through jealously and suspicion. What could they expect? They got wed in the first place as the result of a bet.

For any woman, soap is ideal for washing that man right out of their hair as quickly as possible. So, as a new romantic comedy from Hollywood tells How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days, In The Picture reveals How To Lose A Soap Guy In Ten Ways. The secret of a long-lasting marriage is to follow these simple rules:

DON'T MARRY A SERIAL KILLER

The memory of Coronation Street's Richard Hillman being zipped into a body bag still warms the cockles of the heart, although the image of wife Gail bound and gagged is even more pleasurable (but not in a kinky way, you understand). As Tricky Dicky did away with his first wife, Gail was lucky that she wasn't on his hit list too.

DON'T MARRY A MITCHELL

Grant and Phil Mitchell in EastEnders are to marriage what Bush and Blair are to the peace movement. Ex-para Grant was lucky in love, mostly with someone else's wife. He and first wife Sharon ran the Queen Vic where their most intimate moments included Sharongate, when Grant played tapes in which she admitted sleeping with his brother Phil. Grant later slept with Phil's wife Kathy, which gave a nice symmetry to the family tree. Barmaid Tiffany was Grant's next wife, once he confirmed the baby she was carrying was his (and not gay Tony's). Then he kept it in the family by sleeping with Tiff's mother, Louise.

DON'T MARRY IAN BEALE

Marry EastEnders chip show owner Ian and the unlucky girl goes out of the frying pan into the deep fat fryer. He married Cindy because she was pregnant, although Ian was ignorant that it was someone else's child. He was so unbearable that Cindy was driven to hire a hit man to shoot him. He blackmailed glamorous Mel into going through with their wedding by claiming, falsely, that his daughter had a terminal illness. Mel dumped him on their wedding day, making it a short-lived union even by soap standards. Women still fall for Ian's greasy chip shop charms. His children's former nanny Laura is the latest soon-to-be-ex Mrs Beale. They separated when she became pregnant by someone else.

DON'T MARRY YOUR LOVER'S FATHER

Linda Sykes was usually found in the Rovers with a pint, a roll-up and a man on each arm in Coronation Street. No sooner had Alma vacated Mike Baldwin's bed than Linda was snuggling under the duvet with a man old enough to be her father. Perhaps that's why she embarked on an affair with a younger model, Baldwin Junior - Mike's long-lost son Mark Redman.

DON'T MARRY YOUR BOSS

Another reason why Linda Sykes shouldn't have wed Mike. After seducing him, she was promoted from machinist to sales rep at Underworld knicker factory.

DON'T MARRY SOMEONE GAY OR LESBIAN

Tricia Stokes married gay Aussie Joe Fisher to help him stay in the country. Very public spirited of her. They lasted longer than Emmerdale lesbian vet Zoe Tate's "wedding" to Emma Nightingale. They exchanged vows, then broke up before the reception. Zoe decided she'd rather be with old flame Susie.

DON'T RE-MARRY YOUR EX-WIFE

Emmerdale landowner Frank Tate and bitchy Kim married and divorced with monotonous regularity. Several marriages (to other people) later, she finally put an end to their relationship by standing by as he suffered a fatal heart attack.

DON'T MARRY A BAD DRIVER

Don Brennan was a bad husband and even worse driver. As wife Ivy claimed to be tormented by the spirits of her dead husband and son, Don sought solace in a barmaid's arms. When she ended the affair, he tried to kill himself by crashing his car. He survived, but lost a leg. Don kidnapped Mike Baldwin's wife Alma and drove his car into the canal. Later, Don was charged with drink-driving, burnt down Mike's factory, was arrested, escaped and drove his car into a viaduct. He was killed in the ensuing explosion.

DON'T MARRY A DYING MAN

The tears flowed as Butch Dingle and dopey Emily were married at his hospital bedside, where he lay dying after receiving fatal injuries in a coach crash. Emmerdale's Emily made sure that the next man she married - Paddy the vet - had a clean bill of health.

DON'T MARRY A RELATIVE

Strictly speaking, Nat and Georgia Simpson didn't get married in Brookside. Being brother and sister ruled that out. Legally at least. Unable to stop their incestuous relationship, they ran off to a country cottage, passing themselves off as husband and wife. Unlike most soap couples, they're probably still living happily ever after.

Published: 05/04/2003