Between The Sheets (ITV1): Despite the title, Kay Mellor's new series spends more time talking about what goes on in the bedroom than showing it.

Hardly surprising, perhaps, as one of the main characters is a sex therapist. With Alona (Julie Graham), it really is a case of physician heal thyself. She has a dead husband, two children from different fathers, and a probation officer lover who's being stalked by an obsessed, suicidal female client.

No wonder her mind strays from the job in hand when Peter (Alun Armstrong) keeps the appointment his wife Hazel (Brenda Blethyn) has made. The therapist interrogates him in no uncertain terms, using phrases that The Northern Echo's e-mail service would reject on the grounds of "rude words".

Eventually, Hazel turns up at the therapist's office on her own. Her thoughts, together with Peter's, piece together the story of this sexless marriage.

I'm not sure that Alona's style is entirely conducive to people spilling the beans about their private lives.

Take her reaction when she learns Hazel doesn't like sex and that they last had it several years ago on their silver wedding anniversary. "She was drunk and threw up afterwards," recalls Peter.

"Did you enjoy it?," asks Alona, quickly adding, "Apart from that".

Hazel's been prompted to look for help after learning of her 78-year-old mother-in-law Audrey's sexual awakening with her new boyfriend (not so much boy as pensioner, actually).

They have sex every day, they tell Alona (who, as you can see, is not short of patients) but elderly Maurice is worried about his performance. "Sometimes we only do it once and I do like to do it in the morning as well or when the snooker has finished on the TV in the afternoon," declared Audrey (the marvellous Liz Smith).

Maurice, incidentally, is played by funny man Norman Wisdom, a piece of casting that's either inspired or plain barmy, I can't decide which. At least he's not wearing his trademark cap and too-tight suit.

We left Hazel doing the "homework" set by Alona - plucking up courage to look at her intimate parts in the mirror and recreating incidents from Lady Chatterley's Lover.

For all the pre-transmission talk about the series being sexy and reaching parts that other TV series rarely venture to, this is frothy soap rather than gritty drama. The abundance of sub-plots, all involving some form of twisted or tormented love, may well take over and strangle the main Hazel/Paul dilemma in future weeks.

If the worst comes to the worst, the story can always visit Peter's lap dancing club. Here, performers do more than twirl round the pole on the dance floor. One has already been caught getting over-friendly with a punter. Her excuse sounds a valid one - it was during her tea break and she didn't take any money. She was paid in air miles. "I only need another 2,000 miles to get to Hawaii," she explained. There's a working girl with her head screwed on properly.

Published: 18/11/2003