House arrest

With the golf course under snow and local rugby called off last weekend, I had a taste of house arrest and didn't much care for it.

By half-time practising putting on the lounge carpet seemed infinitely preferable to watching any more of the dire Scotland v Italy rugby match. Yet salvation lay ahead.

Could France v Wales really be part of the same competition? The games were worlds apart, and the fact that England had lost by only a couple of points to the latter two contestants meant at least they were on the same planet.

The reaction to a third successive defeat has been typically English. You'd think we had gone from Downing Street reception heroes to no-hopers in 16 months, when it could more realistically be argued that we have had our share of Six Nations success and are using the current competition as part of the rebuilding process for the next World Cup.

With a little luck England could easily have won all three games. But knowing how to win the tight contests comes with the sort of experience boasted by Martin Johnson's troops. They would have been on full alert for the immediate riposte after getting their noses in front, as the current team deservedly did in Dublin, only to give it away.

It wasn't as good as France v Wales, but it was a decent game and I always enjoy Brian Moore's commentary. It seems totally unnecessary to leave his pithy and accurate observations to go to the token female on the touchline, putting predictable questions to a former player.

In this case the former player was Phillip Matthews, who observed with 15 minutes to go: "The next 20 minutes are going to be crucial." Only an Irishman could come out with that.

Moore quite rightly chastised another hopeless South African referee - he was even worse than the one in the World Cup final - for not using the technology available to him before denying England a try for the second time.

I am not generally in favour of criticising referees because there are so few good ones around and the game needs them. But it is ludicrous for coach Andy Robinson to be in hot water for his comments as once a referee reaches international level he has to justify it.

The try England did score could easily have been disallowed for an off-the-ball tackle, but it was a just reward for the best forward on the field, Martin Corry.

He has had a long wait behind the outstanding trio of Back, Hill and Dallaglio, and it's ironic that the glut of English back row talent prompted Simon Easterby to seek his international future with Ireland, with whom he now emerges triumphant.

Tadcaster-born of an Irish mother, his bloodstock is linked with that of the Easterby racehorse-training dynasty from the Malton/Sheriff Hutton area and he began his career with Harrogate. Now he's a fully-fledged Irishman, he won't be thanked for offering his compatriots any tips from back home when they flock to the Cheltenham Festival in two weeks' time!

ON second thoughts, I'm not going to side-step Mourinho. He's the man of the moment - such big box office that he surely deserves an Oscar, although whether it would be for best actor or director is open to debate. He certainly knows how to put on a performance himself as well as orchestrating one from his team.

Mourinho's recent catalogue of bizarre behaviour climaxed with him acting the part of King Canute by parading in front of Liverpool fans with his finger to his lips following Chelsea's late equaliser in the Carling Cup final.

He claims he hasn't yet learned how to adapt to English ways, but he's from Portugal not the Planet Zog, so he knew damn well that his actions would be seen as incitement.

That the equaliser was an own goal which went in off a post in the 90th minute underlined again the very fine line between success and failure. I just hope the scorer, Steven Gerrard, does not decide to help Chelsea further by signing for them, as many predict.

THE last Englishman to be the Premiership's leading scorer with 30 goals was Kevin Phillips for Sunderland five years ago. While he scored on his return from injury to help Southampton into the FA Cup quarter-finals the other night, it looks as though he could be passing his former team on the way down.

Sunderland look very good bets for automatic promotion now that one of their rivals is rocking. Many thought it would be Wigan who would falter, but two successive home defeats suggest it's Ipswich who can't stand the heat.

Perhaps they should send a message up the road for Delia Smith to pop down and give their fans a rallying call.

Published: 04/03/2005