100 years on, the Kings still reigns

They've brought Comic Relief forward to today, tomorrow being the date of the official photographs. The potential for red noses to become red faces was considered too great.

Much else occupies minds at the former King James I Grammar School, now Community College, in Bishop Auckland. This year marks the school's 400th anniversary; much is planned.

"We want to involve the whole community, not just the school and former pupils," says Val Bainbridge, a parent, member of staff and chairman of the "Friends" .

Like Steve Rodchester, the head, she was educated at the former Wolsingham Grammar School, itself approaching four centuries of learning. "This is just a trial run," says the head, tongue in cheek, "we'll have everything right by 2014".

James I's seal was granted after Anne Swyfte of Durham petitioned for a grammar school in "North Auckland" , though no one - not even GCSE historians - is sure where the school spent its formative years.

For 200 years from 1638, however, it occupied buildings in the Market Place, moving briefly to the site of the savings bank in Silver Street in 1855 and in 1864 to the present site in South Church Road.

The funny thing is that the most famous old boy remains Stan Laurel, who spent a couple of terms there while his father managed the local theatre, and that everyone's pushed to think of any other household names among the ranks of the Old Vinovians.

"There was a lad called Hampton," suggests the head, tentatively, "played for Leeds United, sat on the bench in the European Cup final..."

"We have very high hopes of the present intake," says Val.

Anniversary celebrations begin on Saturday, July 2, with a reunion for staff and governors, followed next day by a service of thanksgiving in the school hall.

Pit Heaps, a play written by college drama teacher Stephen Elliott and based around Tindale Crescent, will be performed in the hall on July 4 and 5.

After events for present pupils, the big day is Saturday, July 9 - summer fair in the afternoon, tea dance reunion from 4-6pm and all-age reunion in a marquee on the playing field from 8pm to midnight. There'll be music, buffet and bar. Tickets are £20.

Next day, they hope, there'll be an outdoor rock concert featuring local bands - can't afford to pay them, says Val, but think of the exposure.

As if by way of a 400th birthday present, they've just been granted specialist arts college status, plan new dance studio, drama room and art gallery and will shortly become Community Arts College.

King James I Community Arts College. Whatever happens, the old king reigns.

* Information and tickets from Val Bainbridge - (01388) 603388 or v.bainbridge@durhamlea.org.uk - who'd also welcome offers of help, hands and music. Full details will shortly appear on the college website: www.KJ1.co.uk

LEST another tradition die, a reminder that it's Carlin Sunday three days from now and that Chittocks in Bishop main street is absolutely steeped in the little beauties - 75p for half a ton, or whatever it is that 500g equates to.

There's also simnel cake, Easter rum stollen, Easter panettone in all sorts and sizes and even goose eggs, 75p each. What larks, what jarps, with those.

SIX weeks ago, January 27, we reported on Len Alderson's new job in Weardale - employed by the council to get more people into the area's pubs.

The story was taken up by several of the nationals. Len, as a result of the Daily Express version, was suspended - and then the rest of the media waded in, an' all.

Cause and effect, it was enough to drive a man to drink.

What seemed to have happened - though he cannot, of course, say so - is that having been paid to address an identified problem he got into trouble for upsetting those he was seeking to help.

Officially it was the Mine Host Project. Poor Len, as Shakespeare almost put it, was host by his own petard.

Happily, all is resolved. He's back at work with a civic flea in his ear, the launch goes ahead as planned at the Horsley Hall Hotel in Eastgate on the morning of March 24. The "welcome and introduction", it says on the agenda, will be by Mike Amos.

Len, Witton Park lad originally, is officially the project co-ordinator, working from an office in the old Stanhope Co-op and charged with refreshing the parts which other initiatives cannot reach.

Though his immediate concern is the 15 pubs along the A689 between Wolsingham and Cowshill - a consultants' report identified the need for more "overnight serviced accommodation", a municipal term meaning B&B - he hopes that the project will open up all kind of tourism, economic and marketing possibilities.

We meet over breakfast in Bishop, Len - cut to the chastened - prepared only to reveal that he doesn't like baked beans.

The welcome and introduction will doubtless be every bit as diplomatic.

NOW a parish priest in Ilkley, where he is known simply as Father David, former Archbishop of York Dr David Hope is so pleased to be out of mainstream Anglican politics that he has cancelled the Church Times and the Church of England Newspaper. He buys Railway News and Car Enthusiast instead.

How to make coffee out of dandelions

YET again seeking to lie down on the job, last week's column tried in vain to get a seat in the Rest House - in line for an architectural award - at the Timothy Hackworth park at Shildon.

It was locked, steel shuttered, vandal resistant. There are those, nonetheless, who try to find a key to such intractables.

John Cutting, a former commando and territorial SAS member, has since 2003 run the Pilgrim Club for the youngsters of Shildon - based, coincidentally, in the Rest House.

Its motto is Latin, something about experiences being life's starry light. Its motif is Bunyanseque. He who would valiant be...

One big adventure? It beats the hell out of aerosol spraying, anyway.

John, Cockfield lad originally but 24 years in Shildon, joined the Army at 16 and at 18 was posted to Northern Ireland, a few weeks after Bloody Sunday.

"It makes you grow up quite fast when you're 18 years old and you realise someone's trying to kill you," he says.

He has spent time living in the North African desert, at one time offered a house and a wife to remain in Algeria. Sensible lad, he chose to come home to Shildon.

"I was walking the streets, trying to talk to kids and could see they just had no confidence, not even to look you in the eye," he says.

"We totally underestimate the capabilities of our young people, but you have to give them the opportunities first. It's about giving kids the confidence to cope with what life throws at them."

Described as an educational adventure club, it concentrates on outdoor activities, bushcraft - no beating about it - and survival.

Other skills range from making cordage out of nettle fibre to coffee out of dandelions, from cooking to climbing, sub-aqua to skiing. The park has proved perfect for orienteering; there's a Duke of Edinburgh award link, too.

Next Tuesday and Wednesday, back in the restless Rest House, they'll be exhibiting their skills to delegates from all over Europe with a view to a European youth exchange for the young Pilgrims.

If not he who would valiant be, Who Dares Wins...

www.pilgrimclub.co.uk

Great wisdom, but sadly no relation

Assuming either kinship or shared decrepitude, some kindly soul has left on the desk a 1990 collection of the wit and wisdom of Old Amos, a hirsute old codger who has appeared in the Dalesman magazine since 1953.

Amos it was who wondered why, if ignorance were bliss, there weren't more happy people.

Amos supposed "T'hardest wark of all is doing nowt", that faith will never die as long as they print seed catalogues and that honesty is the best poverty.

Sadly, we don't appear to be related at all.

...and finally, the lights went out at Richard Jones's house in Darlington at 9.30am on Tuesday. He rang NEDL and was greeted by a recorded message. "There is a fault," it said, "please try again later." Is this, asks Richard, the most unhelpful help line in Britain?