It was bound to happen, wasn't it? As soon as Durham's Graham Onions took five wickets in his debut Test against the West Indies at Lord's, we were bound to be smothered in silly headlines.

We've got Onions coming out of our ears - more Onions than Darlington covered market.

Hands up - The Northern Echo led the way with "Red hot Onions" on the front and "Sizzling Onions cooks up a storm at Lord's" on the back.

Then we had: * Green Onions leaves Windies in a pickle - Independent.

* Onions relish - Daily Mirror.

* String of Onions - The Sun.

* Onions gives West Indies a roasting - Express.

* Onions so tasty - Daily Star.

* Onions off to a sizzler - Daily Mail.

* Raw Onions has West Indies crying for mercy - The Times.

As someone on the radio said this morning, that's shallot.