NOT a day goes by without the mother of Alice Ruggles wondering if she could have done more to help her young daughter, who was murdered by a violent stalker.
Stalking crimes are at a record high in the North-East and Dr Sue Hills believes the friends and family of both stalkers and their victims have a vital part to play in tackling the problem.
Alice Ruggles died at the hands of Trimaan Dhillon – known as Harry – in October 2016.
Read more: SPECIAL REPORT: The worrying figures behind stalking in North East
She was murdered following a campaign of stalking that saw the Army soldier bombard his ex-girlfriend with messages and unwanted attention.
Alice, who was just 24 when she was murdered at home in Gateshead, reported his disturbing behaviour to Northumbria Police.
Five days after her last call to the force, she was killed in a knife attack carried out by the man police later called “calculated and callous”.
Alice Ruggles
As The Northern Echo today reveals the extent of stalking in our region, her mother is urging victims to seek support and calling on the public to step in when their loved ones show signs of stalking or being stalked.
Read more: Are police in the North East doing enough to deal with stalking? We find out
Amid a significant rise nationally, almost 20,000 stalking offences were logged by forces in the region during 2020-21 alone.
The insidious crime is one that cost Dr Hills and her family a bright and beautiful daughter and inspired years of devoted campaigning in her memory.
Her parents founded the Alice Ruggles Trust in 2017 and have worked tirelessly since to stamp out stalking.
But Dr Hills still torments herself over the steps she feels she should have taken before her daughter was murdered.
If she could go back in time, she would take Alice’s situation more seriously, and she wants to encourage others to spot signs of stalking in their own loved ones, to spare others from suffering as her family have.
“Not a day goes by without thinking that I could have done things differently, I could have gone to the police sooner and taken it all much more seriously,” she says.
“I wake up every morning and it’s a new day – but it’s never really a new day when your child is still missing.”
Alice Ruggles was killed by stalker Trimaan 'Harry' Dhillon
Dr Hills believes more can be done within the criminal justice system and has called for a review of seldom used Stalking Protection Orders to ensure they protect victims.
And she wants forces to approach stalking consistently, for a growth in cyberstalking to be addressed and for Stalking Protection Orders to be improved and routinely used.
But she ultimately believes that stalking is a crime that all of society can help to prevent.
“This is about the whole of society,” she says, “It’s not just parents who are most likely to be in a position to intervene, it’s friends too.
“That’s not just a victim’s friends, it’s a stalker’s too – they are in a good place to help, to tell them when they’re out of line.
“Maybe they’d listen to a friend where they wouldn’t listen to their victim.
“Not in all cases, but sometimes someone may not be aware of their behaviours and a comment from someone else might have a big impact.
“We need to call this kind of thing out, not just listen and think something doesn’t sound right.
“Ask what they’re doing, tell them it’s not right.”
Dr Hills is also urging victims to not give up on seeking help.
“If you go to the police and they are not listening or doing anything, that is not the time to stop, keep going back and back.
“Sometimes you will not get the response you need but do not give up.
“Do not wait and think you’re making a fuss – if it feels wrong, it is wrong.”
- The National Stalking Helpline can be contacted on 0808 802 0300
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