WHEN in the presence of sheer brilliance, it is sometimes the best policy to hold your hands up and admit you had no chance.

Hyperbole is the preserve of the football writer. A club can be in crisis one week and heading for the title the next. The truth is always somewhere in the middle.

Sergio Aguero, this morning, is buried underneath an avalanche of platitudes. You would expect that. He scored five goals. And he deserves every single good word.

His quintet came in a 20-minute spell at the Etihad Stadium. Five goals, nine touches. Most of his touches resulted in a goal. Even Midas would struggle to match that.

Without taking anything away from the Argentinian at all, there is a sizeable caveat. A black-and-white shirted caveat. Newcastle United were the opponents.

When Aguero is spoken about in hushed tones in years to come, the cynics will sneer of his five-goal haul: “Yes, but it was against Newcastle.”

But Newcastle, as mocked as they were over the weekend, were not as bad as the scoreline made out. They were unfortunate to come up against a striker at the top of his game, backed up by a playmaker in Kevin De Bruyne whose £50m price tag seems like a bargain.

And, for 30 minutes on Saturday, not only did they lead but they dominated City. But when Aguero equalised before half-time, the floodgates not only opened, but were smashed clean away, allowing City to completely overwhelm their visitors in a 15-minute spell after the interval.

It was mesmerising to watch. Breathless, spectacular. Analysing each goal, it was not a comedy of errors. Defenders being pulled out of position, the odd deflection, losing your man while ball-watching. Every defender does it from time to time.

Newcastle’s centre-halves, Chancel Mbemba and Fabricio Coloccini, looked shell-shocked by the end. Everything about City’s approach play and finishing was perfect. And it’s not every week that you come up against perfection.

Aguero became the ninth player in top-flight history to score five in a game, and the fifth since Premier League rolled into town in 1992.

His quintet was the quickest. Five goals, nine touches, 20 minutes 37. Game over.

There were no signs of it being that way though. Newcastle started well, City were shaken as Aleksandar Mitrovic opened the scoring on 17 minutes. City’s defence, without the calm head of Vincent Kompany, frayed and breached with every Magpies attack.

The visitors could have had a second when Daryl Janmaat swung a low cross in for Mitrovic to prod home at the far post, but the linesman’s flag shot up a split second after Janmaat played the ball, with the official failing to notice that Raheem Sterling, tracking back, had overran and was playing Newcastle’s front two onside.

Newcastle defended well as City grew into the game, but a lapse at the back allowed the hosts to level on 42 minutes. David Silva’s cross found Fernandinho unmarked at the back post to head across goal and Aguero was there to nod home.

There was nothing to suggest that the floodgates would open at that point, although Newcastle were relieved that the half-time whistle followed soon after.

What followed, after the interval, was a surprise to everyone, as the visitors were hit by a succession of sucker punches with Aguero taking centre stage.

The Argentinian added to his first half finish with a deflected effort past Tim Krul, Yoan Gouffran the unlucky man to divert Aguero’s shot home.

His next, a deft lob over the Dutchman, had a little more finesse about it, before De Bruyne got in on the action with a scuffed volley past Krul into the top corner moments later.

Aguero’s best goal of the game came when he cut inside from the left and curled past Krul on 59 minutes, before completing his quintet on 62 minutes when he bundled home from De Bruyne’s ball flashed across goal.

City showed mercy by replacing Aguero soon after, but the Magpies were not entirely safe, looking capable of conceding every time the hosts attacked, but the damage by then was done and Newcastle were not subjected to any further torment.

What next for Newcastle United, then? The inquest and the analysis started immediately after the full-time whistle.

Janmaat spoke to the press, and – while economical with his words – admitted there were no excuses after falling apart after the interval.

“We are very disappointed, especially after the first half. It was really good and then in 10 minutes we lost the game,” said the Dutch international

“He (Aguero) is a very good player but you can’t allow him to score five times. We needed to stop him.

“We know it’s tough in the Premier League is tough but you have to play 100 per cent otherwise you get killed.

“Everybody knows that’s not good enough – that ten minutes in the second half.

“I feel sorry for (the fans). We had a lot of supporters here. They saw a very good first half but then in the second half wasn’t good for them and they don’t deserve it.

“There are no excuses. We have to stand up. We have had a tough eight games. It wasn’t good enough but we have to look forward and start getting points.”