Everton 3 Newcastle United 0

SO much for there not being any solidarity in North-East football. On a weekend that saw Sunderland plumb almost unimaginable depths of ineptitude on Saturday afternoon, Newcastle United had the good grace to try to match their neighbours for incompetence 24 hours later.

Their defeat to Everton might not have been quite as emphatic as Sunderland’s hiding at the hands of Aston Villa, but the fall-out could prove every bit as damaging with skipper Fabricio Coloccini facing a three-match ban following a two-footed lunge at Aaron Lennon, who had already won the penalty that led to his side’s second goal.

Coloccini’s ban will encompass next month’s Wear-Tyne derby, a game that is arguably the only meaningful thing left on Newcastle’s calendar given their position in mid-table. With Mike Ashley having refused to sanction the signing of a defender in January, despite three leaving the club either permanently or on loan, and Steven Taylor, Paul Dummett and Massadio Haidara all injured, the cupboard is well and truly bare.  

The Magpies finished today’s game with Daryl Janmaat at centre-half and Jack Colback filling in at left-back, a somewhat shambolic state of affairs that summed up their efforts for most of the afternoon.

James McCarthy’s first-half opener owed much to some dreadful goalkeeping from Tim Krul, and while the Dutchman partially redeemed himself with a couple of decent second-half saves, Everton fully merited the three-goal winning margin that was secured through Romelu Lukaku’s spot-kick and Ross Barkley’s stoppage-time strike.

Newcastle have never worked out to handle Lukaku, and the Everton striker’s power and incisive hold-up play stood in marked contrast to the ineffectiveness of what was happening at the other end of the field.

The Magpies have now managed just three goals in their last six matches, and their only opportunity yesterday came to nothing when Gabriel Obertan’s third-minute strike was saved by Tim Howard, with Mike Williamson driving the rebound straight at McCarthy, who was standing on the goalline.

In terms of attacking, that was that for the visitors until Howard turned Moussa Sissoko’s shot around the post with 12 minutes remaining. By that stage, Newcastle were two goals and a man down.

The Magpies failed to ask any meaningful questions of an Everton defence that has looked uncharacteristically insecure on a number of occasions this season, with John Carver’s safety-first team selection a key factor in their failings.

Given that Carver is effectively conducting an extended job interview as he attempts to secure the head coach position on a permanent basis, his persistent lack of adventure is hard to fathom.

Today’s decision to leave Remy Cabella and Ayoze Perez on the substitutes’ bench deprived the visitors of their two most dangerous attacking players in the absence of the suspended Papiss Cisse.

Is there really no place in this side for either of them? And if there isn’t, what does that say about their future prospects under Carver given the inadequacies of Obertan, Emmanuel Riviere, Yoan Gouffran and Sammy Ameobi, all of whom are currently being preferred?

Riviere, who is still searching for his first Premier League goal, was an ineffective as ever, and while Gouffran had clearly been instructed to play alongside him in a 4-4-2 system, neither player carried anything like the threat of Lukaku.

Obertan, who was hauled off at the interval, and Ameobi, who was fortunate to last until the 58th minute, continue to frustrate, with an occasional forward burst failing to disguise a chronic lack of end product.

Throw in a misfiring Sissoko, who continues to be stationed much too deep for his attacking skills to be a factor, and it was no surprise that Everton’s backline was rarely extended.

Roberto Martinez’s side have lacked attacking fluency themselves for much of the campaign, but in the imposing Lukaku, who had single-handedly ripped Newcastle apart in the previous season’s fixture, the hosts at least boasted a focal point to their forward play.

Most of Everton’s best moves went through Lukaku, and most saw the Belgian hold off either Williamson or Coloccini with a minimum of fuss.

He fired in two early long-range shots that were easily saved by Krul, and was the key figure in the 20th-minute move that led to Newcastle falling behind.

Receiving Phil Jagielka’s long ball with his back to goal, Lukaku eased in front of Coloccini in order to lay off possession to McCarthy. The midfielder’s subsequent 20-yard strike looked too weak to trouble Krul, but the Magpies goalkeeper appeared to be moving in the wrong direction before it was struck and stood motionless as the ball went past him into the net.

The goal did little to settle the nerves that were apparent within the home ranks for most of the afternoon, but Everton would have doubled their lead on the stroke of half-time had Ryan Taylor not hacked away Antolin Alcaraz’s goalbound header after the defender met Leighton Baines’ corner.

As it was, the home side only had to wait another 11 minutes after the interval to extend their advantage, with the goal owing much to some defensive ineptitude from Gouffran.

Having been switched to a deeper position to accommodate the arrival of Perez, the Frenchman tried to dribble the ball across his own penalty area, only for the lively Lennon to nip ahead of him to win possession.

Panicking, Gouffran bundled his opponent to the ground, and Lukaku stepped up to dispatch a confident penalty past Krul.

It would have been a miserable enough afternoon for the Magpies had it ended at that stage, but things got worse three minutes later as Coloccini’s hot-headedness got the better of him once again.

Clearly frustrated at conceding possession a couple of seconds earlier, the Argentinian leapt into an ill-advised challenge that left Lennon lying in a heap.

It wasn’t the most forceful tackle you will see, but there was a point at which both of Coloccini’s feet were off the ground, and given his side’s well-advertised lack of available defenders, it was hardly the action of a captain leading by example. In truth, though, it’s getting increasingly hard to remember a time when the 33-year-old did anything that would fit that description.

Reduced to ten men, it was simply a matter of how many goals Newcastle would concede, and while Krul denied Arouna Kone and Taylor cleared Barkley’s effort off the line, Everton scored again in stoppage time.

Christian Atsu released Barkley into the area, and with the Magpies defence at sixes and sevens, the substitute rounded Krul before slotting home.