TODAY (Aug 8) I went to Sainsbury’s excellent cafe in Bishop Auckland for a well-earned brunch having spent the morning in domestic toil.

I anticipated a well-earned treat but events went awry.

As I joined the counter queue I noticed an elderly male customer in front of me who was so tired that he had adopted a Rodin’s “The Thinker” pose with his elbows resting on his tray and his bottom thrust towards the rear of the queue. Not content with this, he treated all those behind him to a full half crescent builder’s bum. Another couple of inches and we would have been treated to full exposure.

I really did wish I’d bought my feather duster with me. I quite lost my appetite.

V J Connor, Bishop Auckland