DON WATSON emails: “You say in your columns from time to time how attractive you find the Deerness Valley.”

So I do, so it is. West of Durham, roughly between Ushaw Moor and East Hedleyhope, it’s a beautiful and relatively undiscovered stretch of wooded countryside, officially designated an area of high landscape value and with some lovely, tranquil walks.

Bonus point, there’s Field’s fish and chip shop in Esh Winning, the last coal-fired chippy – save for Beamish Museum – in the North-East.

All that – well, maybe not the chip shop – may soon change. Durham County Council has before it a proposal to build a 4,000-pig farm – somewhat uneasily called a pig finishing unit – on land smack in the middle of all that’s green and pleasant.

It would create two jobs.

It’s not just a local issue. Rather it impacts upon a national debate: to what extent should those who choose to make a home in rural areas be expected to live with the smells, sounds and side-effects of countryside activity?

The proposed site, between New Brancepeth and Esh Winning, is leased by Mark Westgarth, who has both pig and fish farms near his home at Newsham, between Richmond and the A66. The planning application is for two rearing sheds and five feed silos.

Mr Westgarth already has a 1,000 pig unit, which didn’t need planning permission, at nearby Hill House Farm. His agent has talked of “sustainable, efficient and welfare friendly accommodation” and of “minimal environmental effect”. Folk in the delightful Deerness Valley clearly disagree.

A public meeting in New Brancepeth was attended by almost 200 people and by Mr Westgarth and his representatives, so thronged that some had to stand outside. Don Watson recalls a television comedy series appropriately called Blot on the Landscape.

“It was like that, nearly a village hall riot, they just went for them. The council and others have spent millions beautifying this area after the pits closed. How could it happen?”

Local councillor David Bell wholly shares the concerns. “They talk of a farm, but it’s not a farm it’s a factory and should be on an industrial estate. I’ve lived here 50 years and there’s never been a bigger issue. Screening would take years and it would still be completely intrusive.”

The county council website lists 174 “comments”, seemingly all opposed. Objectors range from the Woodland Trust to Durham MP Roberta Blackman-Woods, from conservation groups to residents’ associations and animal rights groups.

Whatever else 4,000 porkers in a factory unit might feel, they’re unlikely to be as happy as pigs in clarts.

Another objector is former Northern Echo gardening correspondent Brigid Press, who runs the nearby Lionmouth Rural Centre. “One of the reasons for our success is our location,” she writes.

There’s much talk of loss of amenity, of “horrendous” smell and hideous noise. One objector talks of high pitched squealing and screaming from the existing unit “like an inconsolable child”.

There are worries about extensive slurry spreading, road safety, ecological and environmental damage and emissions of ammonia, nitrogen sulphide and carbon dioxide. “It would blight the lives of thousands of people,” says another protestor.

So we took ourselves up there, joined Don Watson and David Bell on a muddy cross country trek to the proposed site. On a calm day the smell from High House was noticeable, but by no means overwhelming.

Coun Bell says that the county planning department is seeking further information. Another document, however, talks of “a presumption of sustainable development”.

“The gentleman is very determined,” says Coun Bell. “Even if we decided against it, I’m sure that he’d appeal.”

So the county planning committee becomes piggy in the middle. The squeals may grow yet louder.

LAST orders, we make Field’s for Friday lunchtime fish and chips two minutes before closing. Jeff Field’s a fourth generation fryer in a business started in 1915 by his grandfather, hawking fish around the doors of Cornsay Colliery. Verdict? Traditionally delicious, of course. There’s enough controversy in the Deerness Valley as it is.

OBSERVING the pretty timeless shortest day service at Gunnerside Methodist Chapel in Swaledale, the column two weeks ago noted that While Shepherds Watched had been sung not to Ilkley Moor – as in Yorkshire we’d half expected – but to a wonderfully buoyant tune called Shaw Lane.

While Shepherds proves versatile. Over 100 tunes are recorded, writes David Armstrong in Barnard Castle, though Sweet Bells is favourite in west Durham.

He’d first encountered the tradition as a nipper, carol singing with the folk of the Centenary Methodist Chapel at Billy Row, above Crook.

David asked about a words sheet and was told that there were none. “They only sang While Shepherds Watched, but to a different tune every time.”

TOM PEACOCK was another who enjoyed the Gunnerside piece, though it’s about matters more regal that he gets in touch,

A relative in Arkengarthdale died recently. Sorting through his old photographs, Tom comes across one of a shooting party – near Gunnerside Lodge, he suspects.

The Northern Echo:

The top gun third from left is King Edward VIII. On the king’s right is “Sir G”. Two identified as “Carlyle” are thought to be lords.

Written on the back is the single word “Calgary” and the identification of the then Duke of Windsor. Though the dales are faraway places with strange sounding names – Crackpot, indeed – the OS map includes nowhere called Calgary.

Long shot, can anyone pinpoint it?

BORN in Reeth, long in Darlington, Tom Peacock’s 87 and still helping at Darlington Lions’ Bookshop, a bibliophile’s biggest bargain. The Lions’ den is in Houndgate Mews, up the alley next to Boyes, open 10am-4pm on Mondays and at the same times from Thursday to Saturday. I’m asked 50p for a coffee table book by Peter Ustinov. Roar deal.

MENTION in last week’s column of Judge Angus Stroyan, formerly formidable on the North-East circuit, recalled a Teesside Crown Court case during which the judge had asked Ann Wilkinson, an usher, the message on a juror’s T-shirt.

Mrs Wilkinson discovered the wording: “Leave me alone, I’m having a crisis.”

Judge Stroyan proved sympathetic. “So am I,” he said, “ask him if I can borrow it.”

NOTORIOUSLY nocturnal, Ken Dodd returns to Darlington Hippodrome on April 8 and may be stretching the working-all-hours mantra to the limit. John Maughan, who’s already booked, spots on the theatre website that the show will run from 7.30 to 7.30. Usually it’s only quarter to one.

BEFORE Christmas, we recalled J Collis Browne’s Mixture, and the gold medal awarded the good doctor by the folk of Trimdon for its efficacy during a 19th Century cholera outbreak.

Asking anonymity, a reader now sends an entry from lugubrious playwright Alan Bennett’s 2017 diary: “Go to the chemist’s in search of Collis Browne, which Boots claim no longer to stock, though no one can explain.”

The chemist’s, Bennett adds, has always been a theatre of embarrassment – never more so than when he was waiting patiently in a shop run by an elderly chap and his spinster sister.

Finally, the slightly deaf pharmacist emerged to ask in ringing tones: “Whose is the scrotal itch?”

...AND finally, Private Eye magazine reports a phone-in quiz on Newcastle-based Metro Radio. Host: “What are crotchets, minims and quavers examples of?”

Caller: “Crisps.”