Horses for courses and all that, this has never been much of a racing column. Last Thursday, however, we were guests at Sedgefield of Ebac chairman and munificent Northern League sponsor John Elliott.

This was the posh end, so posh that there were balloons on the table and a rather fanciful dress code, No T-shirts or torn jeans for the blokes, frocks and fascinators encouraged for the women.

Fascinators are fascinating. Little encountered until 20 years ago, they’re now much the thing along milliners’ row. “Saves women faffing about with hats,” said the lady of this house, forthrightly.

The etymology may be less obvious for Buck’s Fizz, with which a good day began. Is it something simply favoured by young bucks, or a drink concocted in Aylesbury or somewhere?

Neither appears to be the case. The Oxford English supposes it to have originated among the champagne Charlies at Buck’s Club in London, circa 1930. Cheers to that one, then.

There was also a silent auction, the top lot – minimum bid £12,000 – a day for two at the Old Course at St Andrew’s with 1995 Open champion John Daly.

Last Thursday was officially Durham County Cricket Club Raceday, tips provided by opening batsman Will Smith, 35, who’s just returned to the club from Hampshire. “I couldn’t be more excited,” he said.

His forecasts, he admitted, strongly favoured favourites – though in the 3 55 he fancied Beeno, who he thought might start in double figures.

Almost coincidentally, the Today programme on Radio 4 that morning had also tipped Beeno, just seconds ahead of the latest bad news bulletin.

Former Wold Cup football referee George Courtney, also in attendance, hadn’t been to a race meeting since Newcastle 52 years ago. “I had a few bob on Edward Hide, whose horse won the first at 10-1,” he recalled. “I thought backing horses must be quite easy after that.”

Now 75, fully recovered from last year’s heart attack and still refereeing, he’d recently had charge of Durham Johnston School’s girls in the semi-final of the national under-14s competition. They won.

“It was a lovely day out. I only had to give two free kicks all day and it so much rekindled my enthusiasm that I’ve ordered a new kit,” he said.

George, however, has an undeserved reputation to think of. “It was on the sale,” he added.

Durham FA president Ian Shuttleworth had a system. “My wife’s texting me horses she likes the name of,” he said. “I’m putting a fiver on each of them.”

There, too, was John Elliott’s brother Tony, much concerned for the future of his beloved Lands Cricket Club in west Durham. There may be more of that next week.

Almost engaging in its wet-eared innocence, the column’s approach is very similar to Mrs Shuttleworth’s – £5 on the nose of anything with a personally appropriate name.

The first, Judge Earl, is laid with a bookie called Jayne, possibly daughter of Jayne. The lady views the proferred fiver with a mixture of pity and astonishment, as if someone had sought to bet on the men’s curling.

Judge Earl starts at about a billion-to-one, brings up the rear and is pulled up before it falls down. The second race choice fares little better. It’s time to change tack.

Bulkov is trained at Middleham by Mickey Hammond, once these columns’ stable jockey, and ridden by a young lady called Becky Smith. It wins quite comfortably, short odds but enough to suggest Mr Hammond’s reinstatement to his former high office. At a similarly modest price, Instant Replay comes home in the fourth.

Beeno, by no means a has-beeno, romps the 3 55 at 7-1, the £40 returned by a gracious bookie much the biggest win of my life. Another punter is said to have had £800 on it – clearly a Radio 4 listener.

At the next stand, a chap’s enquiring about betting on the men’s curling.

Ian’s wife is faring less well, George doing terribly – even on Ninepointsixthree, which he reckons his average mark while a top flight referee.

When Dark and Dangerous also fails to win, he makes his excuses, heads for a golf club meeting and says he’ll have to ref an additional weekend match in order to make good his pocket money. For some reason, none of us wins the best-dressed guest award, either.

The column ends the day £25 up, but you’d lay a pretty large bet against it ever happening again. We never did get to hear what happened to the silent auction.

….and finally, the only footballer to have played in a Glasgow, Liverpool and Manchester derby (Backtrack, February 22) was Andre Kanchelskis. Many knew; only Paul Dobson points out that Kanchelskis played in a Ukraine derby, too.

Graham Phelps today invites readers to identify the test cricketer who has scored the most runs without once hitting a double century.

Doubtless at the double, the column returns next week.