Will Roberts
As a child I always missed out on the crazes. When I got my first shell suit people were into Kickers. I finally got a Gameboy when people had moved on to Playstations. So I’m over the moon to be finally up to date by having my own blog.
Keep fit, look mad
It seems, that at this time of year, vast quantities of column inches in newspapers are dedicated to reducing the vast quantities of waist inches that we've all accumulated over the Christmas period.
There are millions of us who have over-eaten over the past few weeks - I was no different. My New Year's detox lasted all of 35 minutes. I started so well, On January 2 as I came back into work again I picked up some fresh fruit from the green grocer's in Barnard Castle for my breakfast.
Then, I got into my office, put the kettle on and realised that I had no milk for my brew. Now, the nearest shop which sells milk is Peat's the butchers, just across the road from the office. The milk there is great, but not half as good as the sausage butties, which are out of this world. The smell hit me as I walked towards the deli counter. I started to imagine brown sauce and white bread... then before I knew it I had one in my hands along with my cup of tea. The fruit went to one side.
Anyway, back to the newspapers. The Northern Echo has also had a few lose the Christmas pounds' stories, but the one which interested me the most, was on Friday, where Sport England offered readers some every day exercises they could do to burn calories.
The aim of these exercises was two-fold, I can only imagine. Firstly, they would stretch and tone, and secondly, they would make you look like a complete lunatic. Let me explain for those who didn't read p20.
The exercises were divided into male exercises and female exercises. Some of the male exercises would surely appeal to men. The first was: Have more sex'. Another, hinted that carrying drinks back from the bar can burn six calories a minute. Presuming the bar was only ten seconds away from your seat in the pub, that means, that by your sixth pint, you would have managed to burn six calories. Can't get any more healthy than that.
Another toning exercise , surely must have been taken straight out of the Monty Python keep-fit guide. It said, that instead of flicking the light off with your hand, you should do it with your foot:
"Lift the knee first, then extend your bare foot so that your toes push the switch."
Try doing it. I did. You'll work your thigh muscles as well as looking bonkers, and if you're lucky, you might give yourself a hernia.
Other inspired suggestions include shaving your hair off so your body uses up more calories generating heat. Because, of course, all shaven-headed men have the bodies of Greek Gods.
The women's ideas aren't much better. Their head-shaving equivalent is to wear less. Walking down Darlington High Street naked in January will burn plenty of calories, especially when you have to run away from police officers.
Sport England also say that pacing the platform while waiting for a train and fidgeting can burn calories (as well as help you lose all of your friends).
So, you'll be able to spot a fitness-obsessed Echo reader this January. They'll be the naked, shaven headed ones trying to turn lights on with their toes.
10:56am Tuesday 8th January 2008
Print 
Email this 
CommentPosted by: Toby Walkers, London on 4:56pm Fri 8 Feb 08
I miss your blogs will - it's almost like you've lost the ability to type over the last few weeks or something. Come back soon!!
I miss your blogs will - it's almost like you've lost the ability to type over the last few weeks or something. Come back soon!!
What are these links for?
If you liked this article and would like to share it with others on the web who might be searching for good content we've made it easy for you to do it.
At the bottom of all articles, you'll see links to six sites. These sites - commonly called 'social bookmark' or 'social news' sites - have large communities of web users who share and rate interesting, useful and fun things on the web.
Clicking the links will automatically add the address of the story you are reading to one of these sites, letting you share it with others. Each site will ask you to register to share stories. Registration is free and once a member, you can store, recommend and search for stories that interest you.
More on Digg
More on del.icio.us
More on Furl
More on reddit
More on NowPublic/
More on Yahoo!
