Former soldier and maths teacher Ian Mackie, from Stockton, has written exclusively for The Northern Echo to provide an insight into dementia, a condition that affects nearly 35,000 in the North-East

Some people think it is the end of the world when dementia is diagnosed but that could not have been further from the truth for me. I’ve tried to grab it by the horns.

I never knew anything was wrong. I always thought I was absolutely normal. But then Mary, my wife of almost 50 years, detected something was amiss because of the memory loss.

Mary’s the best person to say why she thought something was up because people generally tend to be absorbed in their own lives and their own routines and so you rely on loved ones to pick up on things like health issues.

When I went to the GP and had a brain scan which diagnosed my dementia our daughter said, tongue-in-cheek, that she wasn’t surprised because her dad had been like that for at least 20 years. That made me laugh and that showed, I think, that my sense of humour has really held out.

Now GPs are geared up to dementia. They’re getting the hang of it in terms of early diagnosis. In terms of detecting early onset, there is now a greater awareness.

Diagnosis put a stop to the denial anything was up and led to an acknowledgement and awareness I had dementia. The quicker all these phases happen the better for the individual who has dementia and their caring partner.

While each diagnosis in degree is unique – there are a range of emotional factors to be individually confronted and resolved - the quicker these phases happen the better for the person with the diagnosis and their caring partner.

Mary and I have always been a practical partnership. It’s always been a case of ‘let’s get on with it’ whatever happens. Maybe that attitude stems from the fact that we are from a wartime generation when you just got on with life.

You learn to deal with the ups and downs despite the early calamities. So that generational frame of mind stood us in good stead when dementia reared its head.

The Alzheimer’s diagnosis was a stop-and-think process. It was a knockback but eventually everything that is resilient in a working relationship comes to the fore. Friends and family rally around in support. Everyone holds together.

There are memory problems and I know it’s a progressive situation but I’m still enjoying life to the full. I’m lucky enough to have a terrific family and some lovely friends.

I still aim to be as independent as possible and I like to keep healthy and reasonably fit.

I swam 20 lengths a day twice weekly at the Thornaby Pool and on a good day I’d do 30. That way I got maximum benefit from my reduced OAP entrance fee!

Keeping tabs on the lengths required a bit of concentration but we got there somehow.

Mary and I also cycle which is something we’ve always enjoyed doing together.

Having a bus pass also helps getting around independently without being a bind on someone else’s time.

I’ve learned how to cope. It’s the same with the dementia. You just have to adapt to wherever the bar is placed.

What really helps me is not only my partnership with Mary; it is also a sense of dementia being par-for-the-course. Natural. I think about the impact on Mary but with planned living and the support now being made available, especially for carers, it is now possible to have a dementia diagnosis and continue living happily and well.

It is our aim to remain independent and at home together for as long as possible thanks to support from family, friends and the community.

It’s not going to do anyone any good thinking too deeply about the long-term too much when there is a life to be enjoyed to the full.

It is our aim to stay as independent at home together for as long as possible thanks to support from friends and the community.

I don’t have too many friends but those I do have are good and true. We don’t specifically talk about my dementia. They let me talk about it if I wish but apart from that we just get on with life and enjoy each other’s company.

Rather nicely, they exercise an understanding that family and friends do.

Anyone who needs information about dementia should contact the Alzheimer’s Society County Durham team on 0191 389 0400.