So would you ‘shop’ your child?

HOW far would you go to protect your child – even when you knew they’d done something awful? It’s a tricky one.

The parents of 20-year-old Eliot Turner knew he had murdered his 17-year-old girlfriend in their house.

Yet they lied to the police and destroyed evidence, including a letter in which Eliot had confessed.

My husband always says that if either of our boys went mad with a machine gun and mowed down the local populace, I would still spring to their defence saying it was someone else’s fault.

Well yes, from the very beginning, our instinct is to protect our children from the disapproval of others. We make excuses for stroppy babies and toddlers, saying they’re teething or too tired or not well.

Later, we blame the loose shoelace, the itchy shirt, the wrong boots, the weather, the pollen, the school for their rubbish athletic ability or exam results.

When they’re teenagers – when we can in any case blame everything on that wonderful catch-all “hormones”

– we say sadly that they “got in with the wrong crowd”, never even considering that our own children might actually be the wrong crowd.

And although many parents will tell you that their child is bullied, have you ever, ever heard a parent admit that, actually, it’s their child who is doing the bullying?

No, I thought not. Yet there comes a time when, however doting we are, however unable we are to believe that our darlings are less than perfect, that we realise we have to be cruel to be kind.

The only way our children are going to move on and grow up is if they accept their own mistakes and face up to the consequences.

A number of parents have bravely and boldly handed over their children to the police – notably Jack Straw, who when he was Home Secretary took his son, William, along because of his drug dealing.

Last summer, some parents shopped their children who had been caught up in the riots. I don’t suppose their children thanked them for it, but one day they might. It could have saved them from an awful lot worse.

As for murder, cold-blooded calculated murder, do we really want a murderer on the loose, even if it’s our own flesh and blood?

There again, when your son is described as “brash, flash, spoilt”, as Eliot Turner was, then that is also a criticism of the parents. Maybe it’s not their son’s fault he turned out so wrong, maybe they were just lousy parents, maybe they should protect the son from the consequences of the parents’ mistakes in child rearing.

You can see the twisted logic at work here, can’t you?

I hope that if my sons ever did anything so appalling, that I would have no hesitation in handing them straight over to the authorities.

But you know what? I still can’t say I’m 100 per cent sure.

Social mobility

DEPUTY Prime Minister Nick Clegg has unveiled a 17-point plan to improve social mobility, which is much worse now than in the 1950s. The points include everything from social housing to low birth weight. What a palaver.

The easiest, simplest, most effective way to achieve social mobility is to improve state schools.

When bog-standard comprehensives can give as good an education as Eton and Winchester, then the chasms between classes will narrow and the brightest and best will do well, whatever their birth weight.

GCSEs

OH yes – and could we please not have stories about how GCSEs are not fit for purpose just at the time when our 16-year-olds are struggling to cram two years’ work into two weeks’ revision and when the sun is shining?

Telling them what they’re doing is pointless isn’t exactly going to cheer them on their way, is it?

Rabies

A BRITISH grandmother is seriously ill with rabies after being bitten by a dog when holidaying in India two months ago.

She apparently went to hospital a number of times before the illness was recognised. At this stage, rabies is almost always fatal.

A few years ago, Smaller Son was bitten by a stray dog in Romania. To prevent possible rabies developing, he needed injections of immunoglobulin as quickly as possible. Back home in this country, no one knew what to do.

He was sent from one London hospital to another in a bid to get treatment, with all of them sending him elsewhere – until he called our GP at home who sent him to a private travel clinic and he paid for the treatment.

So if you get bitten by a dog abroad, seek treatment there. At least they’ll know what they’re dealing with.

Tom Daley

TOM Daley, just turned 18 and all grown up, says that his mum has promised to pay for a tattoo for him once the Olympics are over.

Your mum paying for your tattoo? I thought the whole point of a tattoo was to get your mum really really angry.

So what on earth can he do for his teenage rebellion?

Where's the remote?

EUGENE Polly, inventor of the remote control, died this week aged 96.

Let us thank him for all the endless fun he gave us – hunting for the wretched device under the cushions, beneath newspapers, behind the curtains, under the coffee table and down the back of the sofa. A game for all the family.

And to think he thought it would save us getting up from our chairs.

Money Games

WITHIN a day of the countrywide relay starting, Olympic torches were already for sale on eBay, amid much horror that this wasn’t in the spirit of the Games. On Tuesday night one went for £12,400 – before the relay runner had even carried it.

These are the Olympic Games in which the organisers sponsors, such as Coca Cola and McDonalds have such a stranglehold on what can be said that even the phrase London 2012 is apparently banned from other adverts and a granny has been told she can’t sell her charity doll with the Olympic logo she so carefully crafted.

Athletes such as Paula Radcliffe, Rebecca Adlington, Sir Chris Hoy and Victoria Pendleton are repaying their sponsors by dutifully tweeting endorsements of shampoo, razor blades, nappies and make-up.

The London 2012 Games are not just about sportsmanship and record-breaking, they are also, overwhelmingly, about money. And profit.

So selling a torch for thousands of pounds seems absolutely in this year’s Olympic spirit.

You’re havin’ a laugh, Victoria

VICTORIA Beckham – along with Hollywood stars – is apparently paying a small fortune for a beauty treatment that involves the afterbirth of New Zealand sheep mixed with gold flakes and applied to her skin. Oh yes, and there’s another treatment involving Japanese nightingale poo.

Strange, isn’t it, how having money makes you bonkers. And if only she could smile about it, she’d look years younger in an instant.

Backchat

Dear Sharon,
IF you really want to snatch illtreated babies from their pushchairs, may I suggest instead that you enrol as a foster parent and do something about it?

As more children are being removed from homes where their lives and well-being are threatened, there is a desperate need for parents to care for them.

It is very hard work with many challenges, but also most rewarding, knowing that you have helped a child when they were at their most vulnerable.

Clare Adams (by email)