SMOKING at work has just about had it. New rules being considered this week means it will be almost impossible for people to smoke in offices, shops and factories, or anywhere where it might upset their colleagues.

Brilliant. It makes life much sweeter for everyone else.

But while they're at it, maybe the government committee should consider guidelines on a few other things that don't do much for the working environment.

Too much perfume. Women are bad, men are worse, most of them never having heard the idea of "less is more" and instead splash it all over by the bucketload. This is particularly bad in the post-Christmas weeks, especially if you're still feeling hungover from the hols. Still, it's better than...

The Great Unwashed. Hard to believe in these days of mass indoor plumbing and constant hot water, that there are people who still think it's bad luck to bath more than once a month. Bad in winter, unbearable in the summer. And have you noticed that it's always the people who don't wash who like to stand REALLY close to you.

Eating oranges/garlic/curry at their desks. Food that you're eating smells delicious. Food that other people are eating smells disgusting, especially if you're trying to work while they're slurping.

Teeth tappers. I once shared an office with a man who would tap out "Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep" on his teeth about once every five minutes through the working day. The fact that he is still alive and probably still doing it, is testament only to my inability to get my hands around his fat neck.

Shoe shufflers. These are the men who kick their shoes off and wander round the office in their stockinged feet. Especially in summer. Especially men who wear nylon socks.

Warblers, whistlers, whingers and anyone else whose irritating personal habits can eventually drive their colleagues to distraction. Cut this page out and leave it lying around nearby.

And yes, of course, I'm sure that I too have many irritating personal habits. But that's OK, I work at home. Alone.

Mind you, there are times when I can drive myself to distraction.

SO the Greenham Common women are leaving. Most of the peace protestors left some years ago, when the nuclear cruise missiles left. But a few have stayed on maintaining a 19-year continuous presence there until this week.

Over the years the women became figures of fun. As well as sincere followers, they also inevitably attracted the lunatic fringe, the hangers-on and lost souls looking for somewhere to belong. They were an easy target for a laugh.

But at the core of the group were some of the most sincere and committed women I have ever met.

They went to Greenham because they cared passionately about what was happening to the world, because they could see the nuclear arms race getting out of control, could see the world spinning off its axis and nobody even noticing, let alone doing anything about it.

They were so worried and cared so much that they left their children behind so they could go and make their protests. "What are my two children compared to the future of all the children of the world?" one woman told me... and meant it.

To meet those original Greenham women was a humbling experience. The scenario they painted was incredible - an ultimate meltdown that would make the worst Hollywood space movie look like Teletubbies. No wonder they were laughed at.

But the chilling thing is that many of the things they warned about have since been proved true. There's a thought to keep you awake at 4am.

There are still pockets of women anti-nuclear protestors in action, annoying the authorities, trying to bring things out into the open so at least we know what's going on.

Next time you're tempted to mock them, I suggest you listen to them first - then see if you still feel like laughing.

A SOUTH African children's doctor was hounded from her home in Wales because the vigilante mob didn't know the difference between "paediatrician" and "paedophile".

And the Government's concerned that it's foreign doctors who can't understand English.

ST Paul's Girls' School in London has done brilliantly in the summer exams, coming top of all the leagues in both GCSE and A Level results.

Headmistress Elizabeth Diggory is very proud "The girls have put their hearts and souls into this," she says.

Well, forgive me, but doesn't that sound a bit too intense for comfort? There are surely better things for teenage girls to put their hearts and souls into other than exams.

Maybe the girls of St Pauls do have brilliant well-rounded lives with lots of other activities and leisure interests and time just to sit and chill and do not very much, but somehow I doubt it.

Meanwhile, at Richmond School - not so much a select hot-house, more a sort of mixed border - it was another year of excellent results, not quite in the St Paul's class, but still making them one of the best comprehensives in the country. What's more, students are encouraged equally in sport, music and keeping up their leisure interests.

It's called having a life. And much as I am in awe of the St Paul's results, I know which is probably healthier.

MORE people over 50 are going abroad to do voluntary work, says a new report. Younger people are increasingly too busy concentrating on their careers and making money, but oldies are flying out all over the place.

Voluntary Service Overseas, pleased to have so many grown-ups, say older volunteers have greater experience and patience to offer and put the desire to volunteer down to a wish to give something back to the world.

Well yes, maybe.

But there might be a simpler explanation.

When the over-50s were young, 50 was old, 60 was ancient, and 70 was just too horrendous to contemplate. Now they're getting to those ages themselves, they realise that they feel pretty much as they always did. What's more, they have the health, the time and the money. And a generation brought up to think "Why?" is suddenly thinking "Why not?"

A chance for adventure AND to make the world a better place... no wonder the grown-ups are making the most of it.