A grooming parlour just for men? In the heart if the macho North-East? Surely some mistake. Nick Morrison tries it out and asks if facials and footie can ever co-exist.

IT'S a fair bet that if you go down to the Quayside on a Saturday night and ask one of the many stag parties oozing around in a fog of lager and aftershave about their beauty regime, you'll be told just what to do with your plucked eyebrows in language that was once described as industrial, when there was some industry left.

Like whippets and football, the image of the unreconstructed northerner is one of those clichs with an uncomfortable basis in truth. A strange breed, who seem to prefer a few pints to getting their backs waxed, northern man would find more use for a hangover cure than a manicure.

So it's perhaps something of a bold, not to say foolhardy, venture to set up a grooming salon just for men in Newcastle, the most stag of all stag party destinations. And not only is The Locker Room the first of its kind in the North-East, it is only the third in the country.

Grandly describing itself as a Male Grooming and Therapy Emporium, it is the brainchild of former Northumbria Fire Service chief officer John McCall and his wife Maggie, setting itself the daunting task of bringing the fabled meterosexual - the straight man in touch with his feminine side - to the North-East.

The Locker Room, on the Bigg Market, has four therapy rooms, equipped for treatments from facials and massages to manicures and waxing. A hairdressing salon offers shaving as well as barbering, there are tanning booths for those who need to look like they've been to Torremolinos, and it also boasts one of the country's few Caci machines, which apparently uses electrodes to give the same results as a facelift, but without the nipping and tucking.

Spa treatments can leave you covered in seaweed or mud, depending on preference, there's an infra-red sauna, which provides colour therapy as well as burning up to 1,000 calories in 20 minutes, and a flotation capsule, where you can float in a solution of epsom salts for an hour, letting your worries drift away.

My treatment for the day is a straight-forward facial. Therapist Danielle starts with an exfoliating gel, to get rid of the dead skin, then uses a serum of minerals to bring out the pesky toxins lurking a few layers down.

Next she starts massaging my face and neck. Well, it seemed like a massage, although I later learn the real purpose was to drain my lymphatic glands. I can't say I'd noticed they were blocked, but it's certainly relaxing.

According to Danielle, there's been a mixed collection of clients so far, from young, image-conscious guys in their 20s to businessmen looking to de-stress for an hour or so. Most have not been grooming virgins and already know what to expect, but perhaps prefer to choose an all-male salon, instead of standing out as the only man in an ostensibly unisex environment.

So what's the difference between men and women as clients?

"Men ask more questions," says Danielle, which I take as my cue to shut up.

After the lymphatic drainage, there's a face mask, to bring out the deeper toxins that other treatments can't reach. It's algae-based and is ladled on like cement. While it sets, Danielle takes the opportunity to give me a head massage, so by the time she peels it off, leaving a rubber-like Chamber of Horrors exhibit - that's the mask, not my face - I'm so relaxed I fear my limbs have jellified.

Finally, it's a moisturiser and then a few minutes to chill out before heading into the grime of the outside world.

My only other facial experience left me feeling thoroughly clean and refreshed, but also a little slimy, although not in a bad way. This time, my face feels much less sticky, but just as invigorated.

Manager Bet McGlone says it has been a gradual start since The Locker Room opened late last month, but she's confident northern man will embrace grooming just as eagerly as he embraces Brown Ale.

"North-East guys are very image-conscious - you only have to go to the Quayside at weekends to see that. They take pride in their appearance, and I'm sure the girls would rather have a well-groomed man on their arm," she says.

"Some men are a bit inhibited about going into unisex salons, but with a male salon they don't need to feel awkward or embarrassed."

Still glowing, it's time to head back to the office, where, unprompted, several people tell me how healthy I look, with one even saying I look younger. I don't think they were poking fun - after all, I did put my masculinity on the line.

* The Locker Room, Bigg Market, Newcastle. Tel: 0191-233 9555.