DO you like sex in the morning? As the distributors have kept the movie version of the TV hit under wraps since its London premiere a couple of weeks ago, there was no alternative but join a dozen other Sex-seekers at the first public cinema performance yesterday.

There is an awful lot of Sex And The City. Nearly two-and-a-half hours, which only reinforces the idea that this is five episodes joined together.

The nattering classes are talking about their favourite subjects - labels and love. And it's fitting that, just as in Cinderella, a shoe (well, pair of shoes here) finally brings the lovers together.

Before that, we get rather more city than sex as the ageing quartet parade around baring their emotional souls while wearing an outrageous fashion collection. Am I the only one who thinks the clothes worn by Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie look more like rejected pantomime costumes than high fashion?

Writer-director Michael Patrick King makes little effort to find a decent story to fill the 145 minutes, content to have his characters totter from one scene to the next as each of the four is given a minidrama to act out.

Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) has to face up to her partner cheating on her. Charlotte (Kristin Davis) finds herself pregnant at last. Samantha (Kim Cattrall) is living in California with her actor boyfriend but staying faithful to one man is putting a strain on their relationship.

The main story thread woven through the entire movie is the will they or won't they marry? question hanging over Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) and her long-time love Mr Big (Chris Noth). You know things aren't going to run smoothly when she buys a vintage wedding dress without a label. Surely this is a hanging crime in her book.

Dreamgirls discover Jennifer Hudson joins the cast as Carrie's assistant and then, completely sidelined, is left with nothing whatsoever to do.

Along the way the girls discuss diamonds, how many times a week to have sex (if they stopped gossiping they might do it more often), and closets (for clothes not gayness). If you get bored, try counting how many instances of product placement you can spot.

It all ends with a break-up, a reunion, a birth and a wedding.

You can probably work out which woman gets which one.

The couple behind me in the queue were arguing over which film to see. She wanted to go to Sex And The City, he favoured the new Indiana Jones. She won, he looked miserable as he left. The film will, I suspect, find favour as a chick flick and with female fans of the TV series. Others will be better off with the man with the whip.

Stars: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, Chris Noth
Running time: 145 mins