SO that’s where we went wrong… When Senior Son was born, it took us so long to think what to call him, that we had to get a stay of execution from the registrar. He was two months old before we finally agreed on Adam John.

How much easier it would have been to employ a Swedish company which has a team of copywriters and historians just to think of names for you. And so cheaply! A snip at a mere £21,000 for the service.

They’re having a laugh, aren’t they?

Apparently not. It was just one of many services offered at a posh pregnancy fair this week. Other joys included a life size bronze sculpture of your pregnancy bump. I mean, but why? Most of us are quite happy to forget those weeks when we looked like the Cutty Sark in full sail only with all the grace of a duck. We certainly don’t want a constant reminder on display in the sitting room.

If you battled with assembling the cot – I did it easily only to find myself trapped inside it - then maybe you should have paid someone £495 to put it all together and even put the sheets and blankets on. Wow. True, they’ll put the nappies and stuff away too. You could have a star-chart or a consultation with Princess Diana’s astrologer.

Then there’s the £300 an hour consultation on your new baby’s educational path, a baby spa at £60 an hour, 4D DVDs of your scan or little glass casts of your baby’s feet. And to think we made do with poster paint prints…

Good luck to them all. I hope their babies flourish and prosper.

Just like all those other babies whose mothers have a lot less money – and perhaps a bit more common sense.

SOPHIE Dahl was one of the first. No sooner had she said how happy she was in her size 16 skin, that she went on a diet and was down to size 8. Lisa Riley twirled her way through Strictly as a size 30, but is now a 16.

And now Adele, who once famously said she didn’t need to be slim because she wanted to be a singer not on the cover of Playboy, is emerging from her fat cocoon as slimmer, svelte and stylish – thanks to a diet of kale, buckwheat, green tea and a personal trainer.

So just remember – whenever a large celebrity tells you happy they are with their weight, you know they’ve just started a really drastic diet.

ARE you secretly hoping it’s going to rain this weekend? If so, you’re not alone. According to the Met Office survey about half of us long for bad bank holiday weather so we don’t have to make an effort to go anywhere or do anything about enjoying ourselves, but can just stay at home and do nothing instead. Not as daft as it sounds. There’s a lot to be said for doing nothing…

Last Sunday we were in London. While husband was at Wembley getting very excited about Morpeth, I met up with my friend Lizzie. The plan was to visit some interesting gardens on Kew Green, then to an even more interesting shoe shop, followed by a trip to the Sunken Treasures exhibition at the British Museum.

Only it didn’t work out like that. Instead we spent all day at her house, drifting between the kitchen and the garden, drinking coffee, tea ,wine, assembling a scratch lunch, enjoying the sunshine, talking, talking, talking and laughing…

Until suddenly it was time for me to dash off to Kings Cross, drag celebrating husband out of pub and get the train home.,

Lizzie and I had done nothing all day. No gardens, no British Museum, not even a shoe shop.

Yet it was one of the most enjoyable, relaxing, restorative days I’ve enjoyed for months. Wonderful.

No need to pray for rain. Just do nothing and enjoy it. Sometimes, it can be just what you need, whatever the weather.

WOMEN who want to be taken seriously in work should stand like men, says new research, ie stand with their feet apart, about a shoulder’s width. Experts call it “the power stance”.

Try it and you’ll probably get some funny looks. It looks strangely as though you’ve wet your pants. Not very powerful at all really.

THIS could be the end of civilisation as we know it. Good Housekeeping magazine – stalwart of middle-aged, middle class good taste, recipes and practical skills – has been testing sex toys. Good vibrations and all that. I don’t know if the winners will be sold with that little seal of approval.

But what next? If Good Housekeeping can test sex toys then we might just as well expect to find Penelope Keith pole-dancing..