Is this the funniest joke of 2014? Maybe you can do better.

Is this the funniest joke of 2014? Maybe you can do better.

Is this the funniest joke of 2014? Maybe you can do better.

First published in News The Northern Echo: Photograph of the Author by

Heard the one about the Hoover? If you haven't you soon will - it's just been voted the funniest joke of 2014.

Comedian Tim Vine's rib-tickler has been voted the best wisecrack at this year's Edinburgh Fringe.

He won with the one-liner: "I decided to sell my Hoover ... well it was just collecting dust."

Vine, who triumphed in 2010 with "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again", said: "I'm a little bit surprised but very delighted. This is the second time I've won this award but I guess nobody loves a repeat more than Dave."

To find the best joke, a team of judges scoured the festival's venues for a week before nominating their three favourites.

They were then put to the public vote, with 2,000 people choosing the 10 they found funniest.

So what, apart from the Hoover quip, were the top ten?

"I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set" - Masai Graham.

"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief" - Mark Watson.

"I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s" - Bec Hill.

"I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn't let me" - Ria Lina.

"Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal" - Paul F Taylor.

"Scotland had oil, but it's running out thanks to all that deep frying" - Scott Capurro.

."I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame 'cause halfway through he disappears up his own a***hole" - Kevin Day.

"I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven" - Jason Cook.

"This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it" - Felicity Ward.

"Honourable mentions", which just missed out on the top spots.

"I go to the kebab shop so much that when they call me boss in there it's less a term of affection, more an economic reality" - Ed Gamble.

"Leadership looks fun, but it's stressful. Just look at someone leading a conga" - James Acaster.

"I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved" - Sara Pascoe.

- Funny? Yes, but we think you can do better. Tell us your favourite joke (keep it clean please) and leave it as a comment below. The best will be published later this week.

Comments (6)

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5:16pm Tue 19 Aug 14

Green37 says...

Why did Edward Woodward have four D's in his name? Because otherwise he would have been called E-war Woo-War!
Why did Edward Woodward have four D's in his name? Because otherwise he would have been called E-war Woo-War! Green37
  • Score: 0

5:45pm Tue 19 Aug 14

Andrew White says...

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. Andrew White
  • Score: 0

5:56pm Tue 19 Aug 14

Nigel Burton says...

My dad always said: Fight fire with fire..."
I guess that's why he lost his job with the fire brigade.
My dad always said: Fight fire with fire..." I guess that's why he lost his job with the fire brigade. Nigel Burton
  • Score: 2

5:56pm Tue 19 Aug 14

Matt Westcott says...

Two monkeys in a bath: First monkey says: "Ooh Ooh Aah Aah" Second one says: "Well put some cold in then."
Two monkeys in a bath: First monkey says: "Ooh Ooh Aah Aah" Second one says: "Well put some cold in then." Matt Westcott
  • Score: 4

5:59pm Tue 19 Aug 14

Andy Walker says...

I had a friend that always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits.
I had a friend that always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits. Andy Walker
  • Score: 4

6:21pm Tue 19 Aug 14

Mike B. says...

Man walked into a bar and ordered a double entendre. So the barman gave him one.
Man walked into a bar and ordered a double entendre. So the barman gave him one. Mike B.
  • Score: 0

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