Backtrack
Hail and farewell?
THE wind had woken
us during the night,
not least because the
Lady of This House,
having just spent
£6,500 on double glazing, insists
upon sleeping with the window
open.
By dawn the storm had little
abated, the Vale of York white
clad as the 7.30 again headed
south. Easter's traditional
lambs appeared to have
renegotiated their birthright,
and stopped in where it was
warm.
Again it was the railroad to
Wembley, a journey much
mined by unexpected sidings.
This was the FA Vase semi-final
first leg, Lowestoft v Whitley
Bay. A story in that day's paper
was headed "Free eggs on
Easter trains," sadly not a
reference to National Express
but to the Tanfield Railway in
north Durham, which doesn't
usually get as far as Suffolk.
In my 12 years as Northern
League chairman we've had 11
Vase semi-finalists, but only
four teams in the final - the last
occasion when Whitley Bay
themselves won it, at Villa Park
in 2002.
As with some other of the
good things in life, the first time
had been memorable - Whitby
Town's 3-0 win over North
Ferriby at Wembley in 1997 -
not least because of the
disorientated Northern League
management committee
member chanting "Tee-Tee-
Teessiders" while wave upon
wave swelled "Sea-Sea-
Seasiders" all around.
Most unforgettable of all,
however, may have been when
Tow Law Town from the
Heights of Improbability
reached the final the following
year and the late and lovely
Harry Dixon strode Wembley
Way in 75 degrees and three
cardigans.
Just as indelibly engraved is
the Lawyers' semi-final second
leg win over Taunton Town at
the Ironworks, a departing fan
brandishing over his head the
toilet brush inscribed TLTFC
which, with permission, he had
abstracted from the
gentlemen's.
This time, surely, the
Arngrove Northern League
would be at Wembley once
again. Whitley Bay, otherwise
the Seahorses, were second in
the league, had conceded just
one goal in five rounds of the
Vase, thrashed competition
favourites Truro 3-0 on their
own Cornish pasture and in
shaven headed 20-year-old Lee
Kerr had a goal scorer of
prodigious ability.
A website spinner noted that
Truro was the Vase's most
westerly club, Lowestoft the
most easterly - indeed, the most
easterly place in Britain - and
that Whitley had beaten
Ashington, an' all. They were,
he concluded, feared the length
and breadth of the land.
Lowestoft, conversely, were
about 13th in the Ridgeons
Eastern Counties League - the
programme didn't print the
table; embarrassment probably
- had lost their last home match
4-0 and seemed as reliant on
psychology as skill.
The Eastern Daily Press
match preview used the word
"underdogs" six times, the
phrase "massive underdogs"
twice and, as if to underline the
mongrel pedigree, "Massive,
massive underdogs" as well.
Lowestoft are known as the
Trawler Boys. They'd not
caught the Seahorses on a good
day.
THE train from
Peterborough to Norwich is
cancelled, trees blown onto the
track near Ely. Instead we
detour to Ipswich, via March,
where breezes blow loud and
shrill and the signalling
system's got the wind up, too.
It's better, at any rate, than
the poor chap on the website
who, having been to Truro and
to Hungerford in the previous
two rounds, complains that the
domestic budget simply won't
stretch to Lowestoft.
He'd tried selling the kids,
but found there was a law
against it. He blamed Brussels,
probably rightly.
At Ipswich, there's an hour
and a half wait for a train to
Lowestoft. The journey itself
will take another 90 minutes.
Railway companies these days
like to give their routes nancy
names, like the Tarka Line or
the Hyacinth Line. Since the
alternative would be the Flat
and Featureless, this one's
simply the East Suffolk.
There's a further delay
because of level crossing
problems, or because the
driver's getting his pipe, the
train finally docking at
Lowestoft 20 minutes before
kick-off. Happily, I know where
the ground is. They'd beaten
Dunston Fed two rounds
earlier.
In the bit of Britain they like
to call the Sunrise Coast, it's
hailing heavens high. It won't,
it's most fervently to be hoped,
be hail and farewell.
Immediately inside the
ground, crowd 2,102, there's a
chap selling Lowestoft Journal
goody bags for a quid. You can
tell it's a semi-final because
there are Vera Duckworth wigs
and a deadbeat with a drum.
Mr Ken Shaw from Sunderland,
is wearing his Sherpa Tensing
outfit.
Ken's been in Lowestoft since
Thursday - "advance guard" -
wraps his anorak hood even
more tightly around his head.
"Weather-wise, this is the best
it's been," he says.
Derek Breakwell, Whitley
Bay's secretary, is looking as
ambiguous as a man might
when his 60th birthday's the
following day. "I'm never
confident," he insists.
LOWESTOFT, wind assisted,
take the lead after four
minutes - the exact moment
that they had against the Fed
and the first goal Whitley Bay
have conceded since Hebburn in
the second round. For the
supporters behind the goal, it's
a cue for uncontrolled elation.
Are you Dunston in
disguise?" they chorus, and
other things much ruder.
Perhaps these are foul weather
fans.
Barely ten minutes later,
Whitley Bay defender Brian
Rowe is sent off, straight red,
for an alleged elbow so greatly
beneath the gaze of the
observant assistant referee that
he could almost have broken
that gentleman's nose in the
same illegitimate action.
Seahorses manager Ian
Chandler, scorer of the wining
goal in the 2002 final and
eligible just two days earlier to
play in the Over 40s League, is
looking anxious already.
These days he rarely plays,
though he'd come on as an 83rd
minute sub against Billingham
Town and, five minutes later,
returned whence he came after
a second yellow.
After 35 minutes, Lowestoft
score again - penalty, foul by
the keeper. "Who are yer?"
chant the Trawler Boys, an
enquiry which the home team
might reasonably have put to 95
per cent of them.
Just before half-time it's
three, not so much as a
hailstorm as a deluge. A chap in
a hugger-mugger hat, greatly
resembling a Russian spy in a
Just William book, throws his
Lowestoft Journal goody bag so
high into the air that a
spectator three yards away is
damn near decapitated by a
wayward packet of jelly beans.
The local MP, club patron and
match sponsor is looking pretty
happy, too. Wondrously aptly
named, he is Mr Bob Blizzard.
THE second half's a bit more
even, marred by a freak
injury to the Lowestoft goalie -
no one near him, rarely was -
and by a last minute fourth for
the home side, Seahorses
trapped ineluctably in the
Trawler Boys' net.
Derek Breakwell considers it
a pretty miserable birthday
present but tries hard to look
forward to this Saturday's
second leg. Ken Shaw
remembers when Sunderland
lost an FA Youth Cup final first
leg 3-0 to West Brom, or
someone, and won the second
leg 6-0.
When was that then, Ken?
"About 1962," he says. It is
necessary to remind them of
the scripture written for such
moments, Suffolk unto the day
is the evil thereof.
Though the homeward trains
are on time, save for a
diversionary dalliance with
Leeds, the last service from
Peterborough is a slam-door
scrap can with Timothy
Hackworth heating.
It's midnight when I sneak
home, the first of the snow
again falling, turned into a
pumpkin. She's asleep with the
double glazed window open.
It's been a bitter Easter.
...AND FINALLY
THE denominator common to
Kirsty Wark, J M Barrie and Dads
Army actor John Laurie (Backtrack,
March 21) is that all were
born or educated in Dumfries -
the town which has much been
occupying our attention of late.
Mr Davey Munday's suggestion
that all three watched Albert
Franks play for Queen of the
South may be discounted. He's
been reading too much Peter
Pan.
Today, a little sadly, back to
Whitley Bay. Readers are invited
to name the Scottish international
and Newcastle United legend
who played for the Seahorses in
1976-77, at the tab end of his career.
An attempt to back the right
horse, for once, the column returns
on Friday.
9:23am Tuesday 25th March 2008
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