Tonight's TV
Sore points
Embarrassing Bodies (C4, 9pm)
FUNNY things happen when people get
in front of a TV camera. Having just
said how she's felt too embarrassed for
the past four years to visit the doctor about a
growth on her back passage, Pauline is
pulling down her trousers and her knickers
for us all to see.
Then she lies face down on the examination
couch, naked bum sticking proudly in the air,
while the doctor probes her nether regions.
The diagnosis is a little skin tear. Nothing to
worry about, the doctor reassures her.
Pauline is typical of the people who pass
through the temporary clinics set up around
the country by Embarrassing Bodies doctors
Christian Jessen, Dawn Harper and the delightfully
named Pixie McKenna. Dr Pixie has
a magical ring to it, don't you think?
This sequel to the equally graphic Embarrassing
Illnesses aims to de-stigmatise a
range of common complaints. Not the complaint
that the NHS is failing us but the fact
that people are afraid to go to see their doctor.
They'd rather suffer in silence than face
the fear of hearing the worst.
C4 is devoting four nights this week to the
results of the trio of docs touring the country
taking their clinic to the people. The result
is, in the words of the voiceover, "a truckload
of eye-watering ailments".
You really shouldn't watch these programmes
while eating, as no sore is left unscratched,
no orifice unexplored and no body
part untouched. Trousers are dropped more
often than in a French farce. And they don't
keep their underpants on. Not so much a
drop-in clinic as a drop-them clinic.
The preview tape didn't contain what the
temporary caption called "willies montage",
but I don't think it was a gallery of photographs
of men named William.
"Our clinic has only been open ten minutes
when Dawn is presented with her first problem
penis," says the narrator.
This was a man who'd had his organ
pierced and was worried it was infected. Just
a bit of bruising, Dr Dawn told him after inspecting
his privates.
There's even a quiz with a group of men
asked questions about their tackle. "What is
the most common sexual problem affecting
men?" they were asked. "Women," shouted
out one wit.
The message, whatever the medical problem,
is that you should talk to your doctor.
Along the way there are reminders of things
to do yourself, like regular checking for
lumps.
Derek, 59, has had waterworks problems for
ten years, but it takes a visit to the TV clinic
to get him to seek help.
Rachel has suffered from psorasis for years.
Now sores cover her whole body. "It would
just be nice to feel like a normal person," she
DROP-'EM CLINICS: Embarrassing Bodies doctors Christian Jessen, Dawn Harper and Pixie McKenna
says, as she's sent for ultra violet light
treatment.
Dr Christian goes back to school to improve
schoolchildren's understanding of
spots and acnes. Twenty years after suffering
from teenage acne, Dawn's skin is pitted
and rough. She's sent for what sounds like
"fractional laser resurfacing" treatments.
How does it feel? asked the doctor as he
lasered her. "Like I've been stamped with a
million needles," replied Dawn, although a
little pain is a small price to pay for smooth
skin.
Alison has a problem with her "women's
bits". She has excess skin round her front
bottom (and yes, we do get a close-up). That
can be given a short back and sides by a cosmetic
surgeon in a fairly minor procedure.
AS well as pant-dropping, the series is
keen on supplying facts and figures.
When the clinic opens for business in
the centre of Leeds, we learn that of the
700,000 population of the city, 50,000 will be
suffering from constipation, 200,000 will be
carrying the herpes virus and 350,000 will develop
piles at some point in their lives. Get
all three at once and you win the jackpot.
Meanwhile in Gloucester, at least 8,000 residents
will be obese, 1,700 will struggle with
erection problems and 1,000 will worry about
a lump on their testicles.
Talking of which brings us to John, who
had a testicle removed after finding a cancerous
lump. He learns about getting an implant
"to balance things up" and is reassured
about the result. "They don't knock about
like marbles in a bag, they are stitched into
place," he's told.
9:27am Tuesday 29th April 2008
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