Tonight's TV
Talking dirty
Jaguar Adventure With Nigel Marven
(five, 7.30pm);
Massacre At Virginia Tech: This World
(BBC2, 9pm);
How To Look Good Naked (C4, 8pm)
FIRST things first: Nigel Marven
doesn't actually see any jaguars
in the opening episode of his
wildlife encounters in a "monster
swamp bursting with a diversity
of weird and wonderful animals".
Finding the big cat is his main mission as
he explores the Pantanal in Brazil, a wetland
the size of Britain.
Other film crews have spent years looking
for the jaguar and never seen one, so no surprise
that he doesn't strike lucky. What he
does find is just as exciting, not least because
Marven comes from the Attenborough school
of wildlife. He doesn't just talk about them,
he gets his hands dirty (and bitten off if he's
not careful) by literally plunging into the
murky water to pull out his prey.
Up to his neck in mud, and doing his best
not to tread on any sleeping Cayman crocodiles,
he discovers two yellow anacondas trying
to mate.
These snakes have a reputation for being
feisty. Wouldn't you be, says Marven, "if you
were having a cuddle with your boyfriend or
girlfriend and a big guy comes along and interferes
with you".
He likes talking to his captured animals.
"I'm sorry to disturb you," he tells the anaconda.
Even the snake - a false water cobra -
that sinks its teeth into his hand is asked nicely
to stop doing it.
"That hurts, don't do that, please," says
Marven, as the blood runs down his hand.
He has a fondness for Cayman crocodiles,
although they don't seem to feel the same
about him as he tries to detain one by grabbing
its tail. "She's a bit irritated," he observes,
wrestling a croc. He wants to show us
its beautiful eyes. "How could anyone have a
handbag made out of one of these," he asks
patting the creature.
The disturbing documentary, Massacre At
Virginia High, ends with a detailed description
by an injured students of events when
23-year-old Seung-Hui Cho opened fire on the
American campus almost a year ago.
He stormed into the barricaded classroom
and started shooting, she recalls. His action
was very planned, very deliberate, very determined.
He showed no emotion at all.
The programme pieces together his personality
in a bid to understand the mind of a
man whose massacre left 32 people dead and
many more wounded.
There were warning signs in his behaviour.
The story that emerges is of a very quiet student
with no friends or social life.
The fact that he spent months planning the
massacre, buying guns and making a video
detailing his thoughts, aren't considered the
actions of a madman. Born in South Korea,
he came with his family to the US when he
was eight. He was fascinated by the
Columbine school shooting, and suffered
from selected mutism, making him shy and
awkward in social situations.
This "quiet, self-contained young man"
had therapy to help his inability to communicate.
He was, according to one classmate,
"the most anti-social person I had ever met".
He wrote a romantic novel. He made unwanted
approaches to several girls, was cautioned
by police and ordered to have treatment
as an outpatient. The authorities never
followed up to ensure he'd complied with the
order.
The massacre would appear to be his final
act of revenge on a world with which he
couldn't communicate, apart from with a
gun.
It's a relief to turn to How To Look Good
Naked in which stylist Gok Wan aims to boost
the confidence of identical twin Jeannie who,
after having three children, considers her
body inferior to sister Suzy's.
Wan doesn't bully like some other TV stylists.
His approach is to get people to feel good
about their bodies, no matter what size or
shape. Then he helps them make the best of
what they've got with clothes, make-up and
hair.
The twins end up naked in the window of
a London department store before strutting
their stuff on a catwalk. Mission accomplished.
Perhaps the secret is Wan's being a big believer
in body contact to help worried people.
"The first thing we do is hug each other until
we fart," he says.
9:55am Tuesday 8th April 2008
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