Soap Watch
Doc shock
THE NHS is in crisis. Staff
are overworked. There is
a severe shortage of
doctors. How do I know?
Coronation Street (ITV1),
of course.
This week, Maria's baby stops
kicking. She goes to hospital, where
the scan is carried out byMarcus,
Sean's boyfriend. In his trendy jacket
and T-shirt. He was also the only
doctor when Violet became pregnant,
wasn't he? Is there really no-one else?
Where does it end?
If, say, Rita broke her arm, would
Marcus x-ray it, put it in plaster, and
pop two painkillers into her pocket?
Come on Gordon Brown. Pull your
finger out and start funding more
doctors. We taxpayers deserve more
that Sean's lousy fella.
Mind, it's not just a problem in
England. In Australia, Karl Kennedy
cures colds and cancer, performs
operations, makes the tea, and plays
guitar. And poor Marcus thinks he's
overworked. Anyway. Maria loses her
baby, but can't bring herself to tell
Liam, who's been sleeping at Carla's
house. Now - call me cruel - but if I
were Liam, I'd bin that Maria and
shack up with Carla. She's brighter,
fitter, and - best of all - doesn't moan
like a stroppy seven-year-old. Okay,
so Carla might be his dead brother's
wife, but not every relationship's
perfect.
Elsewhere, Jason and Becky
become an item. Now, she seems a
nice lass, and her face isn't bad. But
how SKINNY is she? Dear me - she'd
fall down a worm hole. And she could
hula-hoop a Hula Hoop. You wouldn't
think she worked at Roy's Rolls. If I
did, I'd be fatter than Jerry before
you could say: "Extra chips please,
love."
There's more - yes, more - drama
for Gail this week. Honestly, Helen
Worth, who plays her, must be
fuming. Recently, her character has
been married to a serial killer, had a
psychopathic son, and almost been
killed. In the same time, Rita - for
example - has packed a quarter of
lemon sherbets and raised a toast on
New Year's Eve. Helen needs a pay
rise. Anyway, this week - as if she
hasn't suffered enough - Gail's dad
comes on the scene for the first time
in 50 years. Rita, meanwhile, finally
gets a big story: Jack pops in for a
paper.
Meanwhile, it's equally as dreary in
Albert Square in EastEnders (BBC1).
When Steven announces he's
shacking up with Stacey, Christian
tells all - including that cheeky
Steven tried a cheeky kiss. Stacey,
predictably, doesn't believe him, but
eventually accepts Steven is gay.
Steven has a heart-to-heart with
Christian, but gets carried away -
and tries to come out of the closet a
little further than required.
Unfortunately for him, it doesn't go
well. Elsewhere, Roxy feels guilty
about her romp with Jack. He wants
to tell Ronnie, but then doesn't, but
then does, but thenor for goodness'
sake, DCI Phil Hunter, get a move on.
In Neighbours (Five), Janae is told
off by Libby for telling Ben about her
kiss with Darren. Janae - who was
only 13 a couple of years ago, I
thought - realises she's too immature
to be a substitute mum to Mickey,
and leaves. Predictably,
Nedyawndashes to
theyawnairport, where he and
Janae shareyawna tender kiss.
Later, Ned breaks down,
butyawnoh, you get the picture.
Note to Neighbours writers: just
because you've switched channels,
doesn't mean you can recycle last
year's storylines.
5:36pm Thursday 24th April 2008
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