Soap Watch
He’s snapped
GET out the Asbos and
slap a few on Demonic
David in Coronation
Street (ITV1).
Not
content with pushing
his mother, Gail the
hamster, down the stairs, the
tearaway teen goes on the rampage
with an iron pipe.
He's responding to her mother's
refusal to grass him up now that her
memory has returned and she recalls
that her darling son caused her fall.
David demands justice, setting out
to break the long arm of the law to
ensure he gets banged up. He makes a
good job of it as he lashes out at
everything and everyone who crosses
his path. A pole - with a small P - he
finds in Kevin's garage is his weapon
of mass destruction. He trashes a car,
smashes up the Duckworths' and the
Barlows' houses. Then the salon and
a telephone box, where the person
inside making a call is put out when a
blooming great pole is smashed
through the glass.
David ends his smashing time by
throwing the pole through the
window of Jerry's takeaway. Locals
witnessing his spree are appalled and
those who try to stop him get
thumped. David even assaults a
pensioner, Ken Barlow, before hitting
a policewoman and finally being
taken away in handcuffs.
Charged with criminal damage and
assault, he could end up behind bars
- and I don't mean the Rovers - for
some time to come.
Ken has another important role to
play in Roy's Rolls as he mediates
between warring flatmates Roy and
Becky. They were always an unlikely
couple to live under the same roof
but Becky's way with the opposite sex
appalls Roy.
She chats up workmen who come
into the café and takes one of them,
Rick, upstairs where he starts
fiddling with Roy's memorabilia (it's
okay, they can't touch you for it).
Horrified Roy hears strange noises
coming from the room. Lots of
huffing and puffing. Becky and Rick
aren't doing what you think - they're
listening to Roy's LP of train noises.
More familiar noises are ringing
around Albert Square as Bianca lets
out regular cries of "Rickaaay", her
affectionate calling card for her
former husband. The loud-mouthed
Ender is down on her luck in
EastEnders (BBC1) Her boyfriend's in
prison and her children have been
put in care.
Elsewhere in Walford, Sleazy Sean
Slater is bedding anything than
moves (apart, we hope, from Dot
Cotton). He wants to show Tanya that
she can't mess him around, so he
does the dirty with Roxie.
There's no brotherly love lost
between the Kings in Emmerdale
(ITV1). The rivalry between Matthew
and Carl reaches boiling point. The ill
feeling has been fostered by Carl
leaving the family business and going
in with rival Donald De Souza,
Don's dustbinmen have won the
council contract from the Kings. But
Matthew, the most devious of the
brothers, is scheming to upset their
plans. He tells Carl that his father
would be ashamed of him.
"Good job I killed him then," says
Carl, a little insensitively you may
think.
Mad Matt sees red and gives his
brother a good beating, leaving him
bloody and unconscious after matters
boil over at the Hotten Chamber of
Commerce luncheon. Nobody said
that fisticuffs were on the menu.
No sooner is Demonic David
arrested, than the soap police rush
round to put the handcuffs on Viv
Hope (and not for the first time if
what we hear of her bedroom habits
is true). The postmistress is
implicated in missing charity funds
from Happy Smile. Viv's not smiling
when she's put in the cells.
5:08pm Thursday 3rd April 2008
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