Features
Hostess with mostest
If you thought Terminal Five at Heathrow was laughable, then you havenft met Pam
Ann, the rudest trolley dolly on duty. Viv Hardwick talks to her Australian creator
Caroline Reid to discover how she managed the transformation to stand-up comedy
CAROLINE Reid has found the
skyfs the limit as a result of
inventing the over-the-top
airline trolley dolly Pam Ann,
to the point where both British
Airways and the British
Airports Authority (BAA) have recruited her
services.
Fortunately, shefs staying well away from
Terminal Five at Heathrow having flown into
London eight years ago equipped with little
more than a desperate desire to escape the
retail world of Melbourne, Australia.
Asked about how she came up with the
idea of playing an airline crew member with
a habit of bad-mouthing the passengers she
replies: gIt was pure desperation to get out
of Melbourne and trying to think of what I
could do to escape the shops where I used to
work. I loved theatre but I was hopeless at
auditions and I thought the only way Ifll
ever get to do this is to do it myself because
then nobody can tell me whatfs right and
wrong. I used to love dressing up and I
dressed up as an air hostess at one of my
birthday parties and the more intoxicated I
became the more I thought ewhat a great
ideaf.h
Reid agrees that the growth in air travel
gave Pam Ann a more enthusiastic audience
and gno one had ever taken it as far as Ifve
done and delved into all the different airline
cabin crews and the hierarchy and the rise of
companies like Easyjet, who are probably
the gobbiest of the air crews that come to my
shows... and they come back for more.h
Her third tour, called Terror At 41,000
Feet, brings her to Newcastlefs Tyne Theatre
on Saturday, April 12, and an invitation to
play Edinburgh Festival in August. gMy dad
just loves England and keeps asking me if
Ifve been to Harrods yet or it Ifve been to
York. When I started touring if was great
because I could see England and relay the
news back to my dad. My mumfs originally
British and was a ten pound pom from
Liverpool and I brought her back to the UK
in 2003 to see her old house, but we were too
frightened to knock on the door,h Reid
laughs.
Shefs just got back from performing her
show to big audiences in Melbourne and
Sydney and admits that her parents didnft
like the swearing side of her stand-up but
she was told gyoufve got to do what your
audience likesh. She adds: gIt was a bit hard
for me performing in front of them, but
maybe thatfs a good thing.h
Not such a good thing was her decision to
take up an invitation to entertain a BAA
corporate event. gThis corporate thing is a
whole different environment and you walk
out into a room and where people would
normally laugh, if the heads of the company
are there, everyone is watching what they do
before they laugh. I silenced the room with a
swearword as I came out and it didnft get
much better. That doesnft happen with my
normal shows.h
She had far more success with British
Airways. gIfd been performing Mona, who is
an old BA hostess, in my show called the
One World Alliance, and people were
laughing hysterically and BA must have
thought ewefve got to sue her or bring her inf
and the marketing manager came up with a
script,h she says of the 2007 commercial
which saw her comically failing to become
an airline steward.
gIn my shows Ifm pretty full on and
ruthless so I think British Airways really
took a risk, but I think it paid off because I
want to do something else. As much as I take
the p**** out of them, they are my chosen
airline and they know that. I am after the
platinum lounge card which is very hard to
get because you have to be the guest of the
BA chairman to get that.h
Her early break in London was providing
the entertainment at gay clubs when one
Blackpool venue booked her because it
thought she was a man in drag. Such is the
interest in her act via the internet that an
Argentinian in Uruguay recognised her and
told her the whole airline knew she was
travelling.
gA lot of people will call me Pam Ann and
if Ifm on a plane the cabin crew will address
me as Pam. Friends sometimes call me Pam
and I say ehey, hey, hey, wait a minutef and it
does mess with your head if your boyfriend
calls you Pam. Then youfre going into a
whole new territory. I told him eIfm not Pam,
Ifm mef. It is a bit weird.h
Looking back at her career so far she says:
gI feel Ifm just beginning to understand Pam
Ann now. I donft think Ifm natural and Ifve
watched people like Barry Humphries and I
think I learned a lot from four years with
the drag queens in Sydney before I came
over here.h
Shefs heading for Edinburgh after the
current tour and says: gThis show has two
45 minute halves but, knowing me, I go
on for ever... it could be a 27-hour show.
Then Ifve got to get it down for an hour
for Edinburgh and then I head for the
Hammersmith Apollo for my biggest
show to date on November 29.h
But the final word is that Reid would
never, ever, be an air hostess for real. gI
was in retail and I wasnft very good then so I
donft think Ifd be any good now. I havenft got
the patience. Ifd be like Pam eget it
yourselff.h
Pam Ann: Terror At 41,000 Feet, The
Journal Tyne Theatre, Newcastle. Box Office:
0844-493-9999
6:04pm Thursday 3rd April 2008
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