February 19th, 2008

9:29am Tuesday 19th February 2008

AT HOME

Why I am day dreaming in my chair?

I see my beautiful summer garden

As I sit in sweet repose and care

Among a sea of lovely flowers

I find fairies are dancing

Glow worms and gay dragonflies are

prancing everywhere.

Diamonds sprinkle the hedges

Spread by overnight dew

And illuminated by the morning anew.

Then magically out of the blue

A rainbow fills the sky too

Completing my impossible dream.

Reality brings me face to face

On this cold winter's day

There upon my apple tree

A little robin sits as pretty as can be.

Elizabeth Sayers, Spennymoor

WHERE YOUR TREASURE IS THERE WILL YOUR HEART BE

If I won the Lottery

Bought fine clothes and diamond rings,

It wouldn't bring the joy

That knowing Jesus brings.

If I owned a mansion

With a swimming pool as well

It wouldn't give me peace

Or save my soul from hell.

For all the money in the world

Cannot buy our home above,

For the most important thing

Is to know eternal love.

For Jesus is forever

His love will never fade or die

For it is more marvellous

Than all our cash could buy.

Elizabeth Tomlinson, Richmond

CHECK UP

I'm taking our Jack to the dentist

Well, he's never been there before

He's a wee bit edgy and nervous

After all he's only four.

Well, he's in the dentist's chair

And so far things aren't bad

He's looking very wary

But I've told him he's a good lad.

Open you mouth wide, son',

The dentist asks our Jack

But Jack is having none of it

And goes in for the attack.

Now it was only a check-up

And I know his teeth are dinky

But it's the dentist who needs treatment

He's bitten the end of his pinky.

Betty Wyatt, Durham

MY EMBARRASSING MOMENT

I went out shopping for a new coat today

When I noticed this lady next to me

She was trying to see what she looked like from the back

In the full-length mirror, you see.

Her husband who was with her and looking rather bored

Interest I'm afraid he did lack

So I said to this lady: "It doesn't suit you, love,

And there's some loose threads hanging from the back."

I thought she would appreciate my help and advice

And also giving her my time

But she turned around angrily and snarled back at me:

"This coat I am wearing happens to be mine."

Mrs I Gard, Stockton-on-Tees

HELP

All the fish in the sea

Are coming after me,

All because I caught a cod

And ate it for my tea.

All the birds in the trees

Are coming after me,

To catch the cod

I pinched a worm

From their territory.

All the creatures on the earth

Are coming after me.

It must be a conspiracy.

Paul Snaith, Darlington

PASSING THOUGHTS

Is there anyone there?' asks the patient.

Opening the hospice door,

A nurse with a smile and an outstretched hand,

Sweeps across the floor.

He curses his chronic illness, and his 77 years.

She places him in a wheelchair and gently calms his fears.

He had not scored the winning goal,

Or chaired a debate in the House,

Nor had he sailed the seven seas,

Or shot at moorland grouse.

What had he done? You may well ask.

The answer: a countless number of boring tasks.

He paid his rent and taxes too.

His epitaph will read: "I Just passed through."

GS Middlemiss, Darlington

HOSPITAL REMINDER

Do not enter any ward

Unless you've taken time to afford

To cleanse your hands

With disinfectant from our stands.

So preventing the spread of bacteria

And helping to eliminate MRSA hysteria.

Mrs Sandra Moran, Darlington

MY VANISHING VILLAGE

The Regal Cinema's there no more

Now turned into a Sainsbury's store

Then across the road once practised the band

In West Chilton terrace stood the grandstand

On the football pitch, many a game won, drawn or lost

Other games cancelled through snow and frost

The cricket pavilion no longer there

The other pitch with no goalposts, looking bare

The railway crossing and signal box

May have been passed by a wandering fox

Shops changing hands. Betty Morris, Mrs Bell, Hannah Parker,

Pattinsons, Crooks and Harry Barker

Allison's garage now pulled down

Where wagons used to stand with coal for the town

Two collieries demolished

Bricks and mortar abolished

The little and big schools now in the past

Where in the latter 11-pluses were passed

Part of West Chilton and old South View

Gone forever, but in my memory forgotten never.

Vince Elsbury, ex-Chilton, now Darlington

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