THE Nismo 370Z is a highly desirable car - but would you sell a body part to own one? The same week I was hooning about in Nissan’s hotted up coupe a man in America announced he had sold one of his testicles so he could buy a 370Z.
Now, several of the people who stopped me to ask about the Nismo clearly thought it was the, er, (there’s no delicate way to put this) mutt’s nuts. But is it worth a human’s?
Is the 370Z really a fair swap for a fully functioning testicle? Actually, your former appendage wouldn’t pay for a Nismo in the UK. The going rate for a testicle, according to Mark Parisis, the nut who sold his nut, is $35,000, which works out at £21,384 (as of Monday, December 2).
The British market Nismo 370Z costs £36,995 so you might want to think about throwing in a kidney or a few pints of blood just to clinch the deal.
ON THE ROAD: The Nismo transformation adds £10,000 to the price of a standard 370Z. For that you get some modest engine tweaks (courtesy of an ECU remap), a free flow Nismo exhaust, a lowered chassis with revised springs and dampers, better brakes and an in-yer-face bodykit that makes an Evo X look like a shrinking violet. The enormous 19-inch RAYS alloys are lighter and shod with special Bridgestone Potenza S001 rubber and the ECU blips the throttle on downchanges to synchronise the revs.
Nissan calls this the rev-match system. It sounds suspiciously like a gimmick, but proves surprisingly useful. Rev-match operates the moment you dip the clutch by calculating the correct engine revs as you start to move the gearshift. This happens in the blink of an eye and it works correctly every time. On the road, it makes you look like a heel ‘n toe hero; on the track it’s a godsend because it prevents mistimed shifts and the upset a fluffed gearchange causes to the car’s balance.
New suspension (stiffer springs on the front, uprated dampers all round) has done nothing for the harsh ride. You still feel every bump, dip and expansion joint. Keep a sharp eye out for potholes if you value your spine. You also hear a lot of the road - noise from the monster tyres is ever-present. The steering is nice and meaty, though, and the brakes (which borrow lines from the mighty GT-R) are monumental stoppers that can pin the Nismo’s nose into the tarmac and will have you recalibrating your braking distances.
The 3.7-litre V6 makes 344 bhp. That’s a mere 16 ponies more than the cooking 370Z. What’s more, they are reached 400 rpm higher up the engine’s operating range at 7,400 rpm (when anyone with a degree of mechanical sympathy will be desperate to change up anyway).
Truth is, you’ll be hard pressed to notice the difference between the standard coupe and the Nismo if you’re not on a circuit. The 0-62 mph time is a tenth of a second quicker and the top speed is exactly the same.
This, in itself, isn’t a disappointment. A car that can reach 62 mph in 5.2 seconds is quick by any standards, and the Nismo doesn’t exactly feel short of power.
What is a surprise is the sports exhaust. With twin tailpipes big enough to swallow a baby, I was expecting something special - an engaging soundtrack to go with the grin-inducing performance. What I got was the same old coffe grinder growl you get in a standard 370. If Nismo wants to take things to the next level it needs to hire the bloke who created the exhaust symphony for the Jaguar F-Type.
ON THE INSIDE: The Nismo’s cabin is designed around the driver. There are no concessions to rear seats, not even so much as a hard parcel shelf, just a flimsy roller-blind to cover your valuables, although storage in the front isn’t too bad. The sporty instrument cluster adjusts with the steering wheel, but only for height not reach, and there are neat brushed aluminium inserts on the dashboard.
WHAT DO YOU GET: In some markets, Nismo has opted for a stripped out cabin. If you buy this car in the US, for instance, there’s a plastic cubby hole where the satellite navigation system should go.
Lucky buyers in the UK get the lot - extra instruments, colour sat nav, excellent Bose audio, Bluetooth, xenon headlights, multi-adjustable bucket seats and a wonderful sports wheel trimmed in alcantara faux suede all as standard.
In fact, there are no options - every Nismo is fully loaded. The only choice you need to make is the colour (black, white or gunmetal grey).
HOW PRACTICAL IS IT? A coupe is always a compromise between looks and levelheadedness. That’s particularly true in the Nismo’s case. True there’s plenty of room in the front but that’s because there are no rear seats at all and the hatchback boot is very shallow. The Nismo’s luggage capacity (235 litres) is less than you get in a Fiesta.
RUNNING COSTS: The Nismo is an old-school coupe with an old-school thirst. Around town, you’ll never stretch a gallon of super unleaded more than 20 miles and beyond the urban sprawl you need to exercise an amazing amount of self-restraint to return more than 30 mpg. But what’s the point of owning a car like this if you can’t enjoy yourself? Exhaust emissions of 248g/km won’t impress Friends of the Earth, either.
VERDICT: If it weren’t for the 370Z I’d be raving about the Nismo. It looks fantastic, goes very well and ticks all the right boxes (front engine, rear wheel drive, grunty V6) for top driving fun. But so does the standard car. To make the Nismo as bonkers as its bodykit suggests it needs a turbo, 400 bhp and a rip roaring soundtrack. As it stands, the ordinary 370Z gives you 90 per cent of the Nismo experience for ten grand less.
You could say Nissan has rather dropped the ball with this one.
Nismo 370Z.
Price: £36,995.
Spec: Engine: 3696cc V6, variable valve timing, rear wheel drive Power: 344 bhp @ 7,400 rpm Torque: 274 lb/ft @ 5,200 rpm Top speed: 155 mph (limited) 0-62mph: 5.2 seconds Fuel economy: 26.9 (official combined figure) CO2 emissions: 248 g/km Insurance group: 46 Equipment: Four way power seats, Bose audio with eight speakers, synchro rev control, automatic headlights, cruise control, premium sat nav with colour rear view camera, stainless steel exhaust system, bodykit including rear wing and front air dam.
ALTERNATIVES: Porsche Cayman: At the Nismo’s price you are within a few thousand pounds of a Cayman. Nuff said.
Audi TTS: Not as powerful and not as special, either.
BMW Z4: Soft-top thrills. Has a reputation as something of a hairdresser’s car.
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