BRITAIN has descended into panic. Towns and cities are in tatters and it’s time to start your own survival plan.

This is not the aftermath of the Government’s austerity plans – it’s actually a job vacancy.

Job-seekers have been asked to apply to work as zombies to stage battles at the zombie manor house in Warrington, Cheshire. Successful applicants will be expected to frequent overcrowded rooms, shuffle down grubby corridors and loiter around dark torch-lit basements.

Experience not essential as the Government’s back to work programmes have provided these services free of charge for years. Advertised by wish.co.uk the zombie vacancies actually pay the minimum wage.

It’s the only paid job where you can moan and groan and be guaranteed a pay rise.

The Government says this proves jobs have not yet died out. They may be right – taking the career route of zombie can be a truly life changing experience. Just ask George Osborne.

Stephen Dixon, Redcar.