PERHAPS readers can explain to me exactly what an orchestra conductor actually does?

The other night I caught the BBC Proms and the orchestra was conducted by a man who appeared to be doing so with the aid of a tooth pick.

I missed the start of the concert so perhaps he whittled his baton away as he waited in his dressing room.

His eye rolling and gurning would have done credit to Private Fraser in “Dad’s Army” but none of the players seemed to pay him any attention whatsoever.

After all we all know that bus conductors used to punch your ticket, but the role of an orchestra conductor seems largely to satisfy an ego trip.

VJ Connor, Bishop Auckland