FOR Your Eyes Only: the fully-computerised universal credit is heading to a town near you.

Inspired by the gadgets in the James Bond films, the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) is expanding its roll-out to every job centre on Teesside by next spring.

The Government will unleash its less-than-secret-service, which bonds all the main benefits into one.

Job-seekers will be both shaken and stirred by this change to the system.

If you’re fearing the Spectre of unemployment and are after the Oddjob, Iain Duncan-Smith’s universal credit will scare the Living Daylights out of you.

Double-O-heavens, James Bond would certainly have known not to dabble with ultra-sophisticated computers.

The DWP has created a botched, over-ambitious, unworkable and utter shambles of a system.

Outdated computers, mindboggling technology, literally billions written off – the DWP is licensed to bill... the taxpayer.

Iain Duncan-Smith, aka The Man with the Golden Glum, does promise to put a smile back on your face.

But Ex-Spectre more Coldfinger than Goldfinger as under the new universal credit, this Bond baddy plans to pocket you just 7p for every extra hour you work.

That’s not a lot of Moneypenny.

Still it is mission accomplished for the boss of the DWP. As for the employee, it’s a case of live and let cry.

Stephen Dixon, Redcar