AS you’ll know, the loss of a loved one is a very personal thing. However, because of who she was, the loss of Mary Butterwick – our Mother, Nana and Great Nana Mary – has been very public. And rightly so; she has done a lot of good, helped countless people and touched the lives and hearts of thousands of people across Teesside and beyond over 30 years of working tirelessly to build a the Butterwick Hospice.

This last week has been very difficult for the family, but we wanted to take the time to thank all of those people who’ve been involved in supporting the Hospice over the years and those who’ve helped in countless ways over the last few weeks.

First of all we’d like to say a huge thank you to the staff and Trustees of the Butterwick Hospices at Stockton and Bishop Auckland, along with Butterwick House Children’s Hospice. Without you, the charity wouldn’t be what it is – and we know Mary was very proud of you all and the work you do.

Over the last few months, we’ve seen first-hand exactly why the Hospice is so important to families and those with terminal or life-shortening conditions. The love and care that the team at the Stockton Hospice showed to Mary and us while she was living there, especially over the last few days of her life, were invaluable.

We’d also like to thank the media for the sensitive coverage of Mary’s death and the lovely articles that have appeared over the last week. We know many of you have been an integral part of the story of the Hospice, and Mary greatly appreciated your help, support and friendship over the last 30 years. Thank you.

Thanks also to the Mayor of Stockton-on-Tees and Stockton Borough Council for your support, for the respect you’ve shown in the preparations for the funeral, and the lovely gestures such as the flags flying at half-mast and the Mayor’s chain being woven with black ribbon. In addition we’d like to say thanks to the Crake and Mallon Funeral Service, which has worked with us on funeral arrangements.

Thanks also the Venerable Geoff Miller, Archdeacon of Northumberland, the Reverend Clay Rowntree, Vicar of St Francis of Assisi Church, Ingleby Barwick, and the Reverend Mark Miller, Curate of Stockton Parish Church, for their help and support before and during the funeral service, and for helping make it so special.

Finally, thank you to everyone who’s supported the Hospice in any way from its foundation in 1984, and those who attended the funeral or sent messages of condolence – they are all appreciated and have made our loss easier to face. Many of you have had a link to the Butterwick as volunteers and fundraisers, or had friends or relatives who’ve been helped by the Hospice. You’re all part of the story, and it wouldn’t be what it is today with out you all.

And that brings us back to Mary – we’re so proud of what she’s achieved, and have supported her as a family along the way. She had a very clear vision, in that she didn’t want anyone to experience the loss of a loved one in the way she did when she lost our father. And that’s what she’s achieved in the Hospice. She experienced it as a mother when she lost our sister Carol and then experienced it herself as an in-patient at the end of her own life.

Please cherish the special memories you have of Mary and the amazing impact she’s had on each of us, but please don’t forget to continue supporting the Hospice and the vision she had for end of life care on Teesside.

Sure, it’ll be different now that she’s not there, but those of us who knew her know she would be the first to say stop moping and get on with it – she was a shining example of this herself; she built something amazing, only starting when she was almost 60 years old, and continued to be involved in the Hospice until very recently, when ill health forced her to take a back seat just before she turned 90.

She was a very special lady and will be missed enormously, but her name and legacy will live on in the Hospice she created and the lives she’s touched over the last 30 years.

Thank you,

Keith Butterwick and Julia Ward (Mary’s son & daughter)