Following on from this month’s Mental Health Awareness Week earlier this month, Robert Beaumont meets a York man who owes his life to his local branch of Mind

MARTIN Warley is a big man. In every way. He is well over six foot, with broad shoulders and a strong, confident gaze. As a former army corporal, who worked with the bomb disposal unit in Belfast, he knows the importance of courage and the nature of pressure. He is honest. He is brave.

But when I ask him about his relationship with York Mind, York’s leading mental health charity, his clear eyes soften, betraying gratitude and insecurity in equal measure. “They saved my life,” he says, without a hint of drama.

Martin, a 45-year-old data analyst with Network Rail in York, is speaking out about his own mental health problems, which so nearly ended up in the tragedy of suicide, in a bid to remove the stigma around depression and to educate the general public, whose perceptions are often shaped by tabloid headlines.

His problems with depression started after he had left the army, joined Network Rail and moved to York with his wife Elaine. On the surface, this intelligent and articulate man had so much to live for – but depression doesn’t respect a secure job, a loving relationship and a comfortable home in a beautiful city.

“It is very difficult to pinpoint exactly when and why my descent in mental hell began,” says Martin. “But I believe the combination of a severe lack of sleep, a raft of negative thoughts about my worthlessness and my desire for perfectionism contributed heavily to a downward spiral which led inexorably to the meticulous planning of my suicide three years ago.”

Deeply worried as he struggled with work and all relationships, eventually feeling unable to express his feelings even to Elaine, Martin visited a doctor in the summer of 2012, who signed him off work for two months with “stress”. There was no therapy or medication. He was simply hung out to dry.

“My mind was filled with chaotic, negative thoughts. I couldn’t sleep. I took no pleasure in anything. It wasn’t just that life wasn’t worth living, it was a living hell. The closest thing I can describe it to is like the manic exchanges during seven or eight days on the Stock Exchange, all condensed into my head, multiplied a million times.”

“Then, suddenly, I thought about suicide and the chaos stopped. I was at peace. I planned it meticulously, deciding that the best way to kill myself was by throwing myself off a multi-storey car park in the centre of York. I didn’t want to kill myself at home and, as an employee of Network Rail, I thought it would be inappropriate to throw myself under a train. That thought in itself, me worrying about doing something inappropriate when I was killing myself, illustrates how utterly confused I was.”

Thankfully, on his way to the centre of York from his Heworth home to kill himself, Martin passed the Monkgate Health Clinic and, on an impulse, went in. There, a nurse who had previously worked in mental health, saw something was dreadfully, dreadfully wrong. She called the police. It was at that moment that Martin began his recovery , though he didn’t know it at the time.

After a spell in Bootham Psychiatric Hospital, where he was looked after “brilliantly”, Martin eventually went back to work at Network Rail. It was there he came across York Mind, who were holding a workshop.

Martin takes up the story: “I started my course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy at York Mind in November 2013. This was to provide me with the tools to aid my recovery. My therapist was a brilliant post-graduate student from York University called Luana.

“Whilst I understand that medication has a vital role in treating the illness, I believe that to ensure that when the medication has run its course, it is important to confront and if necessary change the thinking patterns that may have contributed to the onset of the illness and could be the foundations of why the illness originally manifested itself.

“My experience has been that if this is not done, then the probability of relapse will be increased if just medication alone is used. York Mind has provided the sanctuary to allow me to learn the tools necessary to understand, challenge and change the negative thinking patterns that have accumulated over a long period of time.

“Indeed I am now living life in a manner I would have thought impossible 12 months ago and this has given me confidence for the future.

To contact Mind visit mind.org.uk