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Bet of trouble
THE trouble with Harry is
that while Vernon's away
cruising - on a ship, not
the other kind - Liz
wants to play in
Coronation Street (ITV1).
Bookie Harry is everything that new
husband Vernon isn't. Handsome,
rich. Well-dressed, rich. Charming,
rich. Most of all he's there in
Weatherfield while Vernon is splicing
the mainbrace and yo-ho-hoing with
a bottle of rum on board the good
ship Venus, or whatever the boat's
called on which he's performing with
his band.
Liz needs a new man to go with her
new hairstyle. And you can bet that
Harry is the gentleman to whom
she'll pucker up. Then again, maybe
she only wants to show her gratitude
for the time he plucked her granddaughter,
Amy, from the path of an
oncoming car. On their dinner date,
when Harry asks Liz if she wants
seconds he's not talking about Betty's
hotpot. Liz is the hot dish of the day
on the menu and you know what they
say about one thing leading to
another. Starter, main course,
pudding, coffee and a spot of how's
yer father?
Harry's son, Dan Dan the loosetongued
man, lets slip that dad has
been seeing Liz (seeing an awful lot of
Liz, if truth be known) in front of her
son, Steve. Any more shock news like
that and his dancing eyebrows will be
doing the salsa. There's a
complication. Her name is Clarissa,
Harry's estranged wife. Probably his
strange wife too if I know anything
about it. She's back and wants her
husband's help.
Liz, meanwhile, is having an attack
of guilt. She tells Harry she's made a
mistake and determines to put
everything she's got into preparing
for Vernon's homecoming.
The Barlows are in hot water in
another part of the Street. Cold water
too because their pipes have sprung a
leak. Ken and Deirdre know where to
go - Roger next door. After all he's a
plumber although he's failed to
tighten the stopcock on girlfriend
Janice's big gob.
The who's the daddy? drama takes
a new twist in EastEnders (BBC1).
Jaunty Jack and Sleazy Sean are
busy doing what boys do - knocking
the daylights out of each other -
when Ronnie, desperate to separate
them, lets out the news that sister
Roxy is pregnant.
Sean is flabbergasted and,
thankfully, unaware yet that he's not
the only one who could be the father.
Jack's a contender too. Let's hope
Sean doesn't find out. He's already
shown his temper by telling Tanya
that he'll kill anyone she gets
involved with. Sean reacts like the
sensible, balanced adult that he is. He
kidnaps his own mother. What's the
word for someone who does that?
Mothernapper, perhaps. He drags
Jean into a car and takes the terrified
woman, several spoons short of a
canteen of cutlery at the best of
times, on a drive. Apparently, he only
wants to talk. Considering his limited
vocabulary, that shouldn't take long.
What a Gay Day Grayson gets
caught out in Emmerdale (ITV1).
He's been seeing his ex-wife Perdy
behind the back of fiancee Katie, the
girl who's carrying the baby his wife
can't have.
Pretty Perdy is back in town and
Grayson has been having it both
ways yet again. He's the original best
bi who likes both men and women,
although he seems inclined towards
females at the moment.
Katie catches him kissing Perdy on
the doorstep, not the most intimate
place for a snog. She bides her time.
She wants to know what Perdy has to
say for herself before taking her
revenge on Grayson.
Jo is beginning to wish she hadn't
married into the Sugden family. New
husband Handy Andy is living up to
his name - hitting out with his hands
every time she displeases him. The
latest attack finds her in hospital
with a fractured wrist. Someone
needs to do something about Andy's
brutishness - and make him shave off
his beard too.
10:50am Thursday 15th May 2008
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