Latest
And the first prize goes to...
I STILL have problems getting the
younger boys, who share a bedroom,
to settle at night.
They play. They
fight. They're up and down stairs complaining
about one another hours after I've
put them to bed.
And then, in the middle of the night, one
or both of them will appear in our bed. I
feel as if I am constantly running up and
down, then back and forwards between
bedrooms until the early hours.
But I've reached breaking point. I'm too
old for this now. I've been doing it for about
16 years, ever since the eldest started trying
to break free from his cot.
I was on the point of giving in, and simply
letting them run riot, when, at primary
school assembly, their headteacher unwittingly
presented me with what
appeared to be the answer to my prayers.
As she plucked a raffle ticket out of a
plastic bucket, the idea hit me like a blinding
flash.
Pupils are given raffle tickets throughout
the week for good behaviour and work
and, every Friday, four lucky winners get
a prize. Obviously, the more tickets children
acquire, the greater their chance of
winning a prize.
They love it so much, they're tripping
over themselves to win as many tickets as
they can throughout the week. "That's it,"
I thought. "Brilliant. I'm starting a raffle
at home."
I was reminded of the time a few years
ago when I was so worn down and exasperated
by the constant mess in their older
brothers' bedrooms and playroom, and
their refusal to pick up and look after toys,
that I introduced a whole series of
punishments.
I was telling a group of other mums, at
the time, over lunch: "There'll be no football
practice if their rooms aren't tidy. I'm
banning TV for a week if they don't put
their toys away." I was on a roll. "And they
won't have any friends to play..."
And then one mum (who happened to be
a psychiatrist) interrupted: "Instead of
punishing them for misbehaving, why
don't you reward them for behaving?"
It was as if a light had just gone on. Of
course she was right. Sometimes, when
you're so close to, and utterly exhausted
by, a problem, it's as if you're grappling
around in the dark.
Back then, I used star charts, which
were pretty effective. But I think I've done
them to death. The raffle also reinforces
and rewards good behaviour but it's got
added novelty value, and I know how well
it works at school. It can't fail, I thought.
So I bought a book of 500 tickets, found
a plastic bucket and purchased a collection
of cheap little notebooks, pens, colouring
sets, pencil cases and tennis balls, most
costing under £1, as prizes.
What a fantastic concept. The raffle tickets
I dish out left, right and centre provide
abundant incentive for good behaviour,
yet cost me next to nothing. There's still
just the one draw at the end of it.
Although repeated cries of "Can I have
a raffle ticket?" every time I ask them to
close the door, hang their coats up or blow
their noses have become a little tiresome.
And I wasn't prepared for the number of
explosive rows the raffle would incite.
It wasn't long before I had to introduce
The Rules. "You don't ask for raffle tickets.
I decide when you get them. Nor do you
have a tantrum every time someone else
gets a ticket and you don't," I told them.
"And no, we are not going to draw four
tickets every Friday, like you do at school.
We'll draw one ticket every fortnight.
Since there are only two of you, you have
a much greater chance of winning at
home."
Things got so heated at one point, I
thought I was going to have to call on the
Gambling Commission to intervene.
"No, you can't write out your own tickets
when you feel like it. Nor can you remove
someone else's ticket. Or keep counting
them up and crying because you
haven't got the most."
I have to stop myself taking a raffle ticket
out of the pot as a punishment. The
whole point, I remind myself, is to reward
good behaviour.
Although I did once warn Albert that if
he misbehaved one more time I would give
Roscoe a ticket for being good, which was
a bit unfair. "They don't do that at school,"
he wailed.
The good news is, so far, the raffle appears
to have made a difference. The boys
are settling well in bed most nights. They
even bring in logs and tidy their room
without complaining. In fact, they're always
asking if there's anything else they
can do for me.
There is great excitement about the first
draw, due to take place tomorrow. I will lay
the prizes on a table and a local celebrity'
(the first person who happens to call at the
house) will draw the prize-winning ticket
out of the pot.
I just hope there are no tears. Or
fisticuffs. I think I will have to introduce a
new star chart, solely to reward those who
abide by the rules of the raffle and prove
they can be good losers.
Perhaps I'd better get some more
prizes in...
10:30am Thursday 8th May 2008
Print 
Email this 
Comment
What are these links for?
If you liked this article and would like to share it with others on the web who might be searching for good content we've made it easy for you to do it.
At the bottom of all articles, you'll see links to six sites. These sites - commonly called 'social bookmark' or 'social news' sites - have large communities of web users who share and rate interesting, useful and fun things on the web.
Clicking the links will automatically add the address of the story you are reading to one of these sites, letting you share it with others. Each site will ask you to register to share stories. Registration is free and once a member, you can store, recommend and search for stories that interest you.
More on Digg
More on del.icio.us
More on Furl
More on reddit
More on NowPublic/
More on Yahoo!
