That's my baby (From The Northern Echo)

That's my baby

2:31pm Tuesday 20th September 2011 in Echo Woman

Newborns have the power to stop dads playing away from home, a new study claims – but not if their parents aren’t happy. Sam Wylie Harris reports.

BAD news ladies: if a new report into the impact of fatherhood on testosterone is correct, Brad Pitt isn’t quite as macho as we all believe. But the good news for Angelina Jolie is that he’s likely to stick around.

According to researchers, the male hormone that boosts sex drive drops when a man becomes a parent, and the more hands-on he is, the lower it goes.

Scientists from a university in Illinois, followed a group of men in their 20s over four years, from being single to settling down and having children.

They found that after their firstborn, testosterone dropped by around 34 per cent and the men were less likely to stray from home – particularly those active in childcare or with newborns.

That’s not to say these alpha males had lost their va va voom, but rather nature lowered their testosterone to bring out a more caring, feminine side.

But before we all get too excited and start chasing a 20-something to father our offspring, some experts have dismissed the study (carried out in the Philippines) as too culturally specific, saying there’s more to a happy and fulfilling relationship than a brood of tiny tots.

According to Rosie Freeman- Jones, spokeswoman for website Illicit Encounters (illicitencounters .com), which gives frustrated individuals the chance to have an extramarital affair, the arrival of a baby is exactly when a man is most likely to cheat.

“Men need to feel someone is validating their world. If there’s a new baby around, most of the attention will be on the child. All those things they previously took for granted, like the constant kisses, cuddles and affection, are going to someone else.

It’s the main reason men are more likely to cheat after their partner has a baby.

“Plus, motherhood does a lot of things to women, both emotionally and physically, such as inducing weight-gain, tiredness and stress, which can further pull them from their partner,” she adds.

Relate relationship counsellor, Denise Knowles, doesn’t think the study carries much weight, because of the cultural gap between east and west.

“I’m not qualified to comment on the lowering of testosterone levels,”

says Knowles. “But in Western society, when a child comes on the scene, it’s one of the most difficult transition times for relationships. Some men feel so rejected and pushed out, distance can come between them and their partner, which can ultimately lead to an affair. It’s not them blaming the child, it’s purely circumstantial.”

According to experts, many UK couples will trace their relationship difficulties back to the time they became a family unit.

Wayne Rooney and Tiger Woods are prime examples of frustrated lotharios, straying from the marital home not long after they started families.

Yet, despite these examples, there is still scientific evidence to show a man’s behaviour does change when he becomes a father.

Christopher Kuzana, co-author of the new report, highlights the fact that humans are unusual among mammals in that our offspring are dependent upon older individuals for feeding and protection, well beyond the first ten years of their lives.

KUZANA says: “Raising human offspring is such an effort that it’s co-operative by necessity, and our study shows that fathers are biologically wired to help with the job.”

Freeman-Jones isn’t convinced testosterone plays a massive part when it comes to extra-marital affairs though: “You can be attracted to lots of people and want to have sex with all of them, but people who cheat are of a different school of thought.

“If you did a cross section of different types of men who cheat, you’d find they had varying levels of testosterone. But they’d all have combined feelings of being neglected, feeling unattractive, unconfident in their sexual performance or ability to pick up women, and workaholics under quite a lot of stress,” she explains.

Stepping away from the bedroom and into the boardroom, MP for West Sussex, Matthew Hancock, co-author of Masters of Nothing: How The Crash Will Happen Again Unless We Understand Human Nature, thinks there may be some truth behind the study, however.

Hancock’s book explores the maledominated world of finance.

“In Masters Of Nothing, we brought to light a lot of scientific evidence around testosterone-fuelled behaviour,” says Hancock. “And we found that if there are more women around, this reduces a man’s testosterone levels.”

Hancock says his own findings from banks appear to be consistent with the American study, adding: “If replicated across other workplaces, you can see the natural impact on human behaviour this would have.”

So whether or not men will stray or stay faithful once their world gets turned upside down by family life continues to be debated. But one thing’s for sure, in a world where affairs are being made even easier by the internet, it might be worth putting in as much effort with your partner, as you do bringing up a child.