Storm in a beer cup (From The Northern Echo)

Storm in a beer cup

5:57pm Friday 3rd February 2012 in Comment

THERE is something wonderfully absurd about British politics.

We’re facing war with Iran and Argentina, while William Hague, the Foreign Secretary, wants us to curb terrorism in Somalia – even though we are cutting our Armed Forces so far that soon we won’t even be able to throw a defensive cordon around the Isle of Wight; the Environment Secretary, Chris Huhne, will today learn if his career is to be destroyed by charges that he compelled his wife to take the rap for his speeding offence; bosses of our over-crowded, overpriced rail system are to receive sixfigure bonuses, while the economy drifts downwards into a double-dip recession.

And Parliament is foaming over Top Totty.

A beer.

Have they gone hopping mad?

Next, they’ll be telling us that watermelons are so dangerous they can kill.

It was, though, indecorous of the House of Commons authorities to allow a bikini-clad buxom young lady to fruitily flaunt herself from the pump handle to promote Top Totty.

But it was over the top for the shadow equalities minister Kate Green to pronounce herself “disturbed” by the beer and to publicly demand its removal.

Amazingly, it was done within halfan- hour – no sensible legislation has ever been enacted so quickly.

There was a hint of truth to the UK Independence Party’s spokesman who said “it suggests that to be in favour of equality you must be a dour-faced, insult-searching misery”.

If there had been a companion ale – Hot Hunk, with a picture of a young chap in boxers displaying a nicelyrounded lunchbox – would it have caught Ms Green’s disapproving eye?

How the Staffordshire brewery must be enjoying the publicity. Men all over the country will be walking into pubs in the hope of being laid out on their backs by Top Totty – that, of course, is because of the beer’s alcohol content and absolutely nothing else.