LET’S forget about exams. They don’t mean much. O-levels, A-levels, GCSEs, Baccalaureat, NVQs, even degrees – they are all so much flim and flam. They measure a student’s ability to sit in an exam room and recycle what they’ve learned. They ensure some sort of basic ability to read and write and remember.

But other than that? Not much at all.

They are as much a measure of the teacher as the student. While I sympathise with Education Secretary Michael Gove’s yearning to restore O-levels, they are all fairly irrelevant really. One system would do the job as well – or as badly – as another.

That’s because we still have thousands of school leavers and even graduates coming out of education, often clutching their many certificates of whatever denomination, and still being virtually unemployable.

They might be all clued up on Hitler’s rise to power, tectonic plates and the way to a French post office, but do they know how to deal with people? Turn up on time? Accept instructions? Smile nicely?

Probably not.

Last year, when supermarket chain, Morrisons opened a new store near Manchester, they had to send 150 of their new staff on three months remedial training before they could start work.

And these, remember, were the successful job applicants...

They didn’t just need to brush up their reading and writing, they had to start with far more basic skills – turning up on time, making eye contact, getting on with people – just basically knowing how to work. To their credit, they wanted to work, but had no idea how to do it. Nothing in their family or school background had begun to teach them.

Paper qualifications are, of course, important but at all levels they are just a small part of a much bigger picture. Hard work, a willing attitude and a ready smile are just as vital.

And they don’t do exams in those.

Old roads

THOUGHTS of childhood holidays in Cornwall involve many memories of hours on the Exeter bypass and the nightmare slow crawl through Okehampton.

The Exeter bypass was so bad that ice cream sellers had regular stalls there to cater for the stationary traffic.

If traffic moved again, it soon stopped as yet another car overheated and blocked the way.

Fifty years on, last Saturday, we left the bottom of the Lizard just after 8am and, with three stops and a few short hold-ups on the way, were home near Scotch Corner just before 5pm. 460 miles.

Just like that. If not exactly effortless, it was remarkably easy.

It’s easy to moan about our motorways, about the road works and diversions, but the new stretch of the A1 to Leeming is a joy.

And would you really like to go back to the cars and the roads and the journey times of the 1950s?

Always a pleasure, never a chore

HUSBANDS who share the household chores are happier than those who don’t, says new international research.

Nothing to do with a desperate desire to do the dishes.

I reckon it’s like being in any tricky situation – simple survival skills.

Men who do housework have learned what’s good for them.

The perfect father-in-law?

PRINCE CHARLES has paid out more than £35,000 in the past year for daughterin- law Catherine’s stylish wardrobe.

You might like to mention this to your father-in-law.

Cheer up, Posh

CAN someone please make Victoria Beckham crack a smile?

She used to, in the old Spice Girl days when they were all a bit rough and ready and looked as though they were having fun. She used to look happy in a slightly baffled way, as though she was working out how she got onto a stage in front of thousands of adoring fans.

Not any more.

Reunited for the first time in four years to plug Jennifer Saunders’ stage show based on Spice Girls songs, the other girls did their bit and smiled and pouted and played for the cameras.

Victoria, dressed head-to-toe in black, posed uncomfortably at the edge of the group, with a face like thunder.

She looked just like the wicked fairy at the christening. Or as if she didn’t want anything to do with any of them any more.

Maybe not. Still, they’re said to get £5m each from the show, so the least she could do is crack her face a bit.

Anyway, next month is daughter Harper’s first birthday. Apparently they’re spending £50,000 on a party, including specially-dyed pink rabbits.

And if that can’t make Posh smile, nothing will.

What's on the Duke's mind?

THE historic handshake between the Queen and Sinn Fein’s Martin McGuinness in Belfast on Wednesday should give us hope at least of a more peaceful future.

But as everyone smiled nicely for the cameras, wouldn’t you have just loved to have known what the Duke of Edinburgh was thinking?

The great...indoors?

AH! The great summer of sport.

In front of the football with a crate of beer. Wimbledon with the strawberries. The Olympics, the cricket, the golf, the cycling.

With all that lovely sport to watch on television, there’ll be no time left to actually go out in the fresh air and do something.

Not the great summer of sport after all. Just the great summer of telly watching.

Banking on trouble

ROYAL Bank of Scotland’s (RBS) computer meltdown, which meant that thousands of its customers were unable to get at their own money, apparently happened because of a mistake by staff in India.

Businesses, of course, should be free to employ their staff wherever they want. But RBS survives only because it was rescued by huge wodge of government cash – taxpayers’ money, yours and mine.

So we are effectively paying the wages of people in India, while also paying welfare benefits for people in this country who can’t find work.

Probably too simple to think that if they’d kept the jobs in this country, then at least there might have been a bit more chance of noticing when someone made an almighty cock-up?

RBS have cancelled their corporate hospitality at Wimbledon – why were they doing anything so extravagant in the first place? Instead of entertaining fellow fat cats, maybe they should invite some of their disgruntled customers along for champagne and strawberries and a seat on Centre court.

Then there’s Barclays. A few weeks ago they were accused of very questionable tax avoidance schemes which saved them £500m, so why didn’t the prime minister have a go at them, eh? – instead of Jimmy Carr.

Not just because a lone comedian was an easy target, surely?

Now we find that Barclays has been systematically cheating its trading partners by manipulating prices at the heart of the banking system.

They’ve been fined £291m, slightly more than a slap on the wrist.

Chairman Bob Diamond, above, has graciously given up his annual bonus, worth up to £2.7m, but is apparently not waiving his long-term bonus, which could be worth up to £5m.

So failure has a price, but not much of one.

Bankers – it’s enough to make you go back to keeping your savings in a sock.