Are things really that bad now? (From The Northern Echo)

Are things really that bad now?

1:51pm Friday 9th September 2011 in Sharon's View By Sharon Griffiths

DEPRESSION amongst women has doubled in the past 40 years, according to a new European study. Most at risk are women in their childbearing years trying to balance work and families.

And yes, depression is an illness that can strike anyone out of a clear blue sky.

But are our lives really so much worse than they were 40 years ago?

True, juggling responsibilities is tricky but, 40 years ago, most mothers didn’t get the choice until well after their children started school.

Is it worse to be juggling – or to be going slowly mad after years of mashed banana and yet another chorus of The Wheels on The Bus, knowing your chances of getting back into the workplace or on the career ladder are somewhere between slim and zilch?

And, back in the Seventies, there were precious few children’s TV programmes to sit them in front of, few nurseries and playgroups – and most of those were run by mothers themselves.

No escape.

So, for most women, the first five years of their child’s life was a form of house arrest on a severely-limited budget. Some loved it and thrived.

Others didn’t. But there wasn’t much choice. No wonder the Stones were singing about Mother’s Little Helper.

In the Seventies, I was young and single, with a well-paid job. Yet, when I wanted to buy a TV on credit I had to get a man to sign the form.

Any man. Didn’t matter who.

As long as he had a willy, he was deemed more responsible than me with my regular BBC pay cheque.

Now that really was depressing.

Queen electricity

IN a bid to provide green electricity, the Queen has installed two Archimedes screws on the Thames, near Windsor. Just like the little one they’ve got in Bainbridge.

Nice to know that where Wensleydale leads, Windsor follows.

Risk and reward

CHILDREN need risk in their playgrounds. New research from Norway shows that a degree of risk is essential.

Controlled danger is the only way they learn to balance risk for themselves as they grow up. Take all the danger out and you’re doing them more harm than good.

So, well done to the council in Somerset that is redesigning its playgrounds to include something a little less safe, and special commendation to the council chairman who said: “We don’t want children losing fingers in badly-designed swings or getting their heads trapped under a roundabout. But there’s nothing wrong with a bump, bruise or graze.”

Exactly.

But maybe the broken bottles and empty syringes that litter so many playgrounds might be a danger too far.

Always a chore, never a pleasure

I’VE always thought the term “holiday cottage” was a contradiction in terms. Well, for mothers it is.

And absolute proof that whoever said “A change is as good as a rest” was probably a man who never had to feed a family in a kitchen the size of a cupboard, 20 miles from the nearest supermarket, while the children were minus all their favourite toys.

So, no surprise then that a survey says one in ten mothers didn’t enjoy their summer holidays because they were just as busy with chores as they are at home.

You have to have a strategy for holiday cottages. Mine was to cook a decent breakfast and then close the kitchen. All other meals were eaten out or bought in.

Even better, of course, are hotels, where you don’t even have to cook breakfast or clean the bath.

Tip: When next year’s holiday cottage brochures start slipping through the door, bin them sharpish.

Then you might have a holiday too.

I could smell the fear

WATCHING tiny 11-year-olds drowned in huge blazers as they walk warily to their new schools, I was instantly back at my own first day at grammar school a million years ago. I swear I could even smell the assembly hall, the leather of new satchels. And the fear.

All those new faces, all the new staff, all those new rules and a huge building to find your way around.

Scary.

But good news to all those who have successfully survived the first week – no new job will ever be as daunting. Life can only get better.

And that goes for the teachers too.

Strictly for grown-ups

IT’S been a good week for grown-ups. For a start, all glammed-up and ready to whip through their paces in Strictly is a trio of unlikely pensioners – Edwina Currie, 64, Anita Dobson, 62, and Lulu, 62 – eager to show the youngsters how to do it. They’ll give the likes of Holly Valance and Alex Jones a run for their money.

Experience and style over youthful energy and bendier limbs. Could be interesting.

Meanwhile, veteran French singer Charles Aznavour is setting out on a three-month tour at the age of 87, which makes the likes of Mick Jagger, 68, seem positively juvenile.

Even better news was that a glass of two of alcohol in middle-age keeps you going well into retirement.

Oh yes. What better way to approach old age than by singing, dancing and drinking?

Well, at least it will help you forget the pensions crisis.

Backchat

Dear Sharon,
THIS week I, too, have been out foraging. I managed to get some blackberries before the rain and, together with some crab apples and wild plums, had enough fruit for my first batches of summer jam.

I have my eye on the hazelnuts and hope that, unlike last year, they do not suddenly fall off the tree to be cleared up by the mice.

I’ve also seen some gorgeous big sloes, as my last bottle of sloe gin has almost gone.

Thought I might try sloe brandy to use up the brandy left from my wedding cake in May.

My friend’s son has been making nettle soup. Maybe, the financial instability will encourage more people to take advantage of free food.

Foraging is still alive here in Spennymoor.

Karren Whalen, by email.

Dear Sharon,
I READ your article while I was relaxing after cooking a few pounds of blackberries, picked just a few hundred yards from my house on the edge of town, with windfall apples kindly donated by a neighbour.

Some will go in the freezer to give me a lovely taste of summer in that gloomy time after Christmas.

I picked a big carrier bag full and there were still plenty left.

If no one else picks them, I shall be back for more.

Janice Potter, Darlington.

Dear Sharon,
A SUGGESTION for emptynesters – get a dog. They create considerably less mess than a teenager, go to bed when you do and are always thrilled to see you. They also take a great interest in your welfare, insisting that you accompany them for fresh air and exercise, no matter what the weather.

Oh, and they never ask for money.

Pat Timmins, by email.

• AND many thanks to a number of people, including Martin Dales, Peter Evans and David Bennett, who agreed about the total horribleness of King’s Cross and the ridiculous expense of the St Pancras Hotel. They all suggested nipping across the road and up the steps to the Betjeman Arms.

If only they had the King’s Cross departure board in there.