We all trot out sentences from time to time without really thinking them through - but a story on today's Daily Mail website warrants some analysis.

It starts: "A goldfish which has been in the same family since the 1970s is about to celebrate its 38th birthday, making it possibly the oldest in the world."

Really? I'm not going to quibble with the bit about whether Splash is the oldest goldfish in the world. But how exactly is he planning to celebrate? Does he plan to throw a fancy dress party? Have a cake and blow out 38 candles? Hire a strippogram? A night on the town?

I'd love to know.