Close of play

It was the morality play about the life and terrible death of Colin Milburn, life-large legend of those parts. “In true Olly Milburn style,” they announced, “the bar will be open at the end.”

Travelling all 18 first-class grounds, the play’s promoted by the Professional Cricketers’ Association. “There have been too many tragic instances,” says the PCA in the programme, “of ex-professional cricketers losing their way when their playing career is over.”

Colin ultimately found his way to the North Briton pub in Aycliffe Village, where he spent the final weeks of his life and where the play is notionally based.

It tells of his childhood in Burnopfield – 50 as an 11-year-old on his second team debut – of a century on his Durham debut against India, another ton on his second England appearance, 243 for Western Australia in Brisbane.

“The best innings I’ve ever seen by an Englishman in Australia,” Sir Don Bradman was moved to observe.

Among the problems, of course, was that the big lad wasn’t what you’d call mobile. “A dreadful liability in the field,” wrote E W Swanton in the Telegraph.

“A wonderful cricketer but these days, the size he was, he wouldn’t even get a county trial,” said Crook Cricket Club secretary Alan Stewart, sitting in the next row.

The play tells also of the accident, of the failed comeback attempt – despite a gallant 50 against Surrey at Guildford – of the brief career as a summariser on Test Match Special, ended when Colin lunched a little too well.

It ends with the doctor repeatedly telling him that if he didn’t do something about his drinking, he’d kill himself. He died on the morning of February 28, 1990, in the car park of the North Briton, aged 48.

As a morality play it seems less than subtle, like recruiting Jeff Thomson to shift a cussed tail-end Charlie in the Mid Durham Senior League (division two).

There’s a good joke about the three balloons, though. Apply now for details, before it gets blown up out of all proportion. We didn’t stop for a drink.

STILL down by the Riverside, we hear that Durham opening batsman Keaton Jennings – future uncertain – heard of the county’s draconian punishment for financial problems immediately after sitting an audit exam in his native South Africa. He failed.

IS it more than two years – crumbs – since Grand National-winning trainer Denys Smith rang, announced his impending 90th birthday and with characteristic generosity invited the column to Bishop Auckland to raise a glass?

Right from that memorable day at Aintree in 1968, we’d occasionally cross paths – sometimes at the races, sometimes in the pub, once or twice at St Andrew’s Church, just behind the Red Alligator, where he was a regular.

Denys was always delightful, always friendly, always humble. Back in 2001, at Sedgefield, a horse called Northern Echo had been one of 14 in the 1.40 – “not so much a field as a rough pasture,” the column observed.

“If it can’t win among that lot, it never will,” said Denys. It never did.

In 2014 the column was headed “National treasure.” So bless him, he was.

BEING at Chester-le-Street last Friday meant that we missed Shildon Boxing Club’s show. Word is that chief coach John Heighington, the Frank Sinatra of amateur boxing, was as energetic and as knowledgeable as ever. John’s 75: he says he’s retiring at the end of the season….

THE good news is that last summer’s Durham Amateur Football Trust exhibition celebrating my 20 years as Northern League chairman is to be re-staged at Darlington library in February.

The slightly more disappointing news is that DAFT chairman Keith Belton’s magnificent montages of 27 years of league magazine covers have been vetoed.

“There are some scantily clad ladies who might bring complaints from some of the regulars,” says DAFT secretary Dick Longstaff. The library, apparently, can’t afford to take the risqué.

Could this have been the Christmas 2001 edition, which beneath the headline “Culture shock” displayed Rubens’ famous Three Graces painting?

The story was that football grounds at Consett, Tow Law and Stanley United had featured – however briefly – on the BBC’s Culture Show alongside a piece on the Rubens masterpiece.

Or could it be that Mr Belton, an architect by profession, has himself been using a little journalistic licence?

….and finally, East Kilbride’s claim to football fame is that their 27th successive win two weeks ago beat Ajax’s 26-game record. The Dutch club sent over 27 cases of beer with which to salute the achievement. Ralph Petitjean in Ferryhill was first up with the answer.

Readers are today invited to suggest why Mohammad Shami was the odd-man-out among the 22 players in the India v England cricket Test completed this week.

Odds and ends, the column returns next week.