THEY never grow up, do they? Inside that successful sophisticated man is the cross little boy with a chip on his shoulder because his brother had the bigger bedroom/better bike/later bedtime….

When Judy Murray made it seem that younger son Andy was her favourite son – she tweeted a pic of him with Jose Mourinho caption “The Special One with my Special One”, she started a debate on the dangers of having favourite sons.

Nothing’s changed much since Joseph’s dad gave him that techni-coloured dream coat… But far more revealing was the rivalry and jealousy that still smoulders between the Murray brothers – between almost any brothers, I’d guess. Think of the Milibands, or Dave and Ray Davies, the Gallaghers. Even the Attenboroughs apparently had their moments… With the Murrays it was all good humoured and funny, but when Jamie tweeted an ironic “Thank you mum”, Andy came back with memories of Jamie’s “bigger bedroom, better presents.”

No resentment there then. And his mum had to dig in and remind him that he was the one who got the hamster and the goldfish. Even to a multi-millionaire, it probably still rankles.

The trick of being a good parent someone once said is to convince every child that he/she was your favourite.

Well I blew that. Both my boys thought – probably still think – that I prefer the other one…. And, like the Murray brothers, can dig up a 30-year-old list of apparent injustices, slights and unfairnesses in the blink of an eye.

Never mind that I tied myself in knots to treat them meticulously fairly. Nope. Counts for nothing. At some point around 25 years ago I might have spent an extra 50p on one or let the other get away with something for which the first had been told off.

And they remember… They will always remember.

Still, it was the determination to be better than his big brother that set Andy on his road to success. One day he might thank Jamie for that. But he’ll still always resent that bigger bedroom…

SO now skinny jeans are a health hazard, cutting off the blood supply to lower limbs.

Fatties are used to being told how unhealthy we are. Makes a refreshing change that here’s one health scare that is never going to be our problem…

NOW here’s a mystery… While we were on holiday last week (Cornwall, brilliant thank you,) the decorator came in to do most of downstairs.

So before we went, we cleared everything out of kitchen, sitting room, dining room, hall. I threw out old videotapes, abandoned chipped mugs, binned dubious bottles of strange smelling booze and took about 200 books to the charity shop.

It was a good de-cluttering exercise and I thought we must have cleared acres of space and putting things back would be easy peasy. And you know what? Yes, of course, when we put things back there still wasn’t enough room on the shelves… I know work expands to fill the time available, but maybe books expand to fill available shelf space too. And there’s still heaps of them on the spare bed.

The Queen is apparently going to have to move out of Buckingham Palace while repairs and re-decoration are carried out. But I bet she won’t be running up and downstairs trying to find a home for armfuls of books…

A CONTRACEPTIVE pill for men should be on the market within a couple of years. Some men are apparently quite keen to try it. Would you trust them? I mean, would you, really?

No, that’s what I thought too.

ORGANIC food tastes no better than the factory-farmed equivalent, says new research from Abertay University.

Maybe. But I don’t know if they tested wine.

Organic wine doesn’t have the chemicals that many wines have, so not only does it really taste better – it doesn’t give you a headache or a hangover either. Bliss. It’s not the alcohol that messes with your head, it’s the chemicals.

Well, that’s my story.

GREAT news that Stanhope open air swimming pool’s future is safe. Swimming in the open air – when the weather’s right – is a great treat. and much more fun than indoors. Open air pools have closed all over Britain. Lucky Weardale to still get the chance.

All they need now is to get the weather to make the most of it…

MODERN feminists are too quick to turn themselves into victims and expect someone else to sort out their problems.

So hooray for Taylor Swift (below), who’s rapidly becoming one of my heroes. Amazingly sensible for a pop princess, she’s proved to have a cool business head too and an eye for battles she can win.

Her latest triumph is to persuade Apple to fork out royalties for musicians. Admirable.

With brains and determination like that, when her music career is over, she’ll still be someone to watch.