RARELY much in sympathy with anything ‘Tory’ – as long-time readers will know – I nevertheless find myself irritated almost to boiling point by the most frequently-reiterated anti-Tory phrase during this bitter General Election.

From the lips of SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon, it is her pitch for a Labour-SNP coalition, so that the two parties can “lock David Cameron out of Downing Street”.

Personally, I’d like to see Ms Sturgeon locked out of England, which, since her ambition is to break up the United Kingdom, should suit her fine.

Meanwhile her party seeks to make what it calls “natural allies” of Northern MPs. “The North of England would be another big winner from SNP success in Scotland,” it claims. “While a strong London is good for the UK, also having a strong Cardiff, Newcastle and Leeds is even better.”

The North will surely see through these siren overtures. If a stronger Cardiff, Newcastle or Leeds looked like threatening Scotland’s interests – say through the scrapping of the grossly-unfair Barnett funding formula – the SNP would drop them like a hot potato. Or line up against them.

The statement by Ms Sturgeon’s deputy, Stewart Hosie, that if no post-election agreement is reached the SNP would vote against “any bit of spending” it did not agree with, which could include blocking defence spending, is chilling in its arrogance and irresponsibility.

It is not hyperbole by David Cameron to say that he is “frightened” by the prospect of a Labour government propped up by the SNP. So should we all be, though, since the SNP will not be on our ballot papers, there is very little we can do about it.

MORE familiar election territory. The Tory’s proposed right to buy for housing association tenants is not merely bad. It’s incomprehensible. Tory-led, of course, the last Government was so desperate to boost the supply of affordable home that it slackened the planning laws, right down to allowing the conversion of barns. Extending the right to buy will reduce the supply.

Largely overlooked is that most housing associations are in fact former council housing departments. They transformed themselves into associations to retain the rump of their homes to rent in the face of the Thatcher sell-offs. Since then they have added more homes, usually superior. No wonder they are incensed by the Tories’ intended sabotage.

The offer of shares in Lloyds Bank is similarly misguided. Symbolised by the “If- you-see-Sid-tell-him” slogan used to sell off British Gas shares, Mrs Thatcher’s vision of a share-owning democracy proved ill-founded. Within very few years most of the shares taken out by small investors were back in the hands of major dealers. The Lloyds offer might look good but it is pointless.

AMONG the simple pleasures of life would you put the ‘pop’ when opening a new jar of jam ahead of the song of a thrush – or indeed any songbird? Would you say that loosening your jeans after eating is superior to seeing a lovely sunset,or the full moon on a clear night?

Well, I have to tell you that the first of each of those choices ranks higher with most people than the others – which didn’t figure at all in a poll of 2,000 people by BUPA. How sad.