A CITY in China has introduced pedestrian lanes on pavements just for people using mobile phones. Brilliant.

The lanes look quite small so, with luck, all the mobile phone users not looking where they’re going will bump into each other and fall in a heap. Serve them right.

I’ve always thought pavements should have fast lanes and slow lanes and lay-bys for gossips...

But why stop there?

In the past 20 years or so we have become terrible at dealing with shared space. Instead of considering others, we think only of ourselves.

It’s why train companies are giving up on quiet coaches – because people ignore the signs and the staff trying to enforce them. Don’t blame teenagers, hen parties or drunken lads – braying lawyers in first class can be just as rude, noisy and pig ignorant, invading our aural space.

Youngsters might shriek about their sex lives but even worse are the oldies talking about their bowel complaints. Loudly. In detail. Really… Not even home is a refuge. A survey by Which? this week revealed that a quarter of us suffer from nuisance neighbours – late-night noise, music, loud voices, TVs. People who think they have a right to do just as they like in their own homes and to hell with anyone else – causing constant low level misery that can make people’s lives wretched.

What it comes down to, of course is common sense and consideration – and we all know what rare commodities they are.

THE world is going to hell in a handcart. I dread watching the news and the inevitable feeling of helplessness in the face of evil.

So I am quite ridiculously pleased this week to discover we have a water vole in our garden.

Small delights. Treasure them.

As the world implodes around you, they might keep you sane.

LAST week Barbara Williamson pointed out that hardly anyone says “twice” any more . Wendy Acres of Darlington rang to say that Steve Cram was the most frequent offender “lots of ‘two-times medallists’”.

Now, like an annoying tune you can’t get out of your head, I’m hearing “two times” everywhere.

Wish I’d never started this.

REDUCED charges, park and ride scheme – anything that improved parking in Darlington has to be a good thing.

At the moment the town is a nightmare. Paying so much for parking wouldn’t be a problem if it were always easy to get a space. I wish… Bad luck if you can’t get in early.

But what I really miss are those little corners right in the town centre where you used to be able to park for free for half an hour – perfect if you wanted to pop into just one shop.

If it’s now much easier – and cheaper – to stay at home and shop online, whose fault is that?

AFTER five weeks dithering, Katie Price has named her new baby daughter Bunny.

Thank goodness for that.

Her other four children are Harvey, Junior Savva, Princess Tiaanii and Jett Riviera. Her first choice of name for the new baby was Duchess Kate. So Bunny, only slightly bizarre, escaped by a whisker.

In years to come, she could be quite pleased about that.

FORMER Home secretary, now successful writer, Alan Johnson laments the fact that our current party leaders have gone virtually straight from university into politics without a “proper” job.

He, of course, worked for many years as a postman. He’s often known as “the best prime minister we never had”.

And as one with his roots in the same world as the rest of us, an increasingly rare creature.