A MCDONALD’S wedding?

I could be lovin’ it… Over in Hong Kong it’s apparently the latest craze.

For about £750 your 50 guests could have the choice of a McDonald’s meal, and a McDonald’s toy, while bride and groom could have a pair of McDonalds balloon wedding rings.

I’m tempted… Younger son has just got engaged and we’re in the throes of wedding planning In the first flurry of the announcement they had no idea what sort of wedding they wanted – big, small, posh, plain, so kept sending me links to venues for my opinion.

You get drawn in, don’t you?

Soon I was drooling over stately homes and posh hotels. They all looked marvellous. But all venues seem to have their own ideas, their own suppliers and the details.

Caterers, menus, wine, music, place settings, chair covers. Chair covers? You’re expected to worry about chair covers? More sites offered options on video vantage points, vintage buses, limos, pony and traps.

Not so much a wedding, more a three-ring circus. And difficult to get exactly what they wanted – and not what a wedding planner thought they should have.

In the end, thank goodness, they rejected the lot and have opted for very small and very simple. Perfect No chair covers with colour-themed bows, no string quartet and definitely no owls, doves, vintage buses or glass coaches. Just a wedding and a marriage, which is the important bit.

All they have to do now is choose a fairly straightforward restaurant for a fairly straightforward meal.

And if all else fails, there’s always McDonald’s.

AT last! We’ve got superfast broadband. Goodbye, almost, little blue circle and crashing sites. No more yelling abuse at those smug BT adverts on TV.

Our old broadband was so slow we couldn’t actually use those sites that check the speed. Or iPlayer. Or Skype. And it didn’t work at all when it rained.

First world problems… Getting it sorted was a nightmare, a cross between Kafka and Alice in Wonderland.

If even BT don’t know the right number for Parcelforce, it doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. But finally the man and equipment arrived and now we’re up and running and still terribly excited about joining the 21st Century.

All we need now is a mobile signal….

THE Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been criticised for ripping out decent kitchens at their homes and installing state-ofthe- art new ones more to their taste.

I wouldn’t have minded the one they were throwing out.

Still, the Duchess has apparently been on a two week cookery course at Leith’s, at the cost of £1,600.

That’s good. At least it means she’s actually planning to use her expensive kitchens. Which, judging by the huge boom in takeaways and ready meals, is more than a lot of humbler people do.

THE Church of England has finally agreed on the appointment of women bishops Hooray. More than one in five priests in the Church of England are now women.

At least when the first woman bishop is appointed she’ll have a uniform for the job. But that probably won’t prevent the tabloids having a go at her hair, shoes and make-up and the way she wears her mitre… FIVE hundred children a week are admitted to hospital because of the state of their teeth. Considering how many toddlers in buggies you see in town sucking away at bottles full of fizzy pop, or diving into giant size packs of sweets, I’m just amazed it’s not more Do you want your child to be in such agony that they have to have all their teeth removed?

For many parents, the answer’s obviously “Yes.”

MIDDLE-AGED couples should not share a bottle of wine every evening, warn GPs.

Of course not. One each is a much better idea.