Bumping along

THANKS to BBC’s Call the Midwife and C4 reality maternity series One Born Every Minute pregnancy makes for great TV. Writer Kay Mellor, the woman who gave us acclaimed drama series Band of Gold and The Syndicate, seems to be the ideal candidate when it comes to giving birth to a new show which combines contemporary problems with the arrival of new life.

“It’s a life-changing situation, no matter who you are; whether you’re a schoolgirl living in a high-rise council flat or a 46-year-old rich business woman – your life will never be the same again,” she says. “The fact is there are very few ‘lessons’ on how to give birth and be a parent.

We study for three or four years for a degree and yet we’re supposed to know instinctively how to give birth and be a good parent – arguably one of the most important roles we’ll ever have in life.

The truth is young or old, we’re all terrified of it – male and female alike.”

Mellor had been considering the idea since 2000 and says: “I had the idea round about the same time I had the idea for Fat Friends, but there was more of an appetite for Fat Friends at the time and In the Club was put on the back burner.”

Her series follows six mums-to-be who are all attending the same parenting class, including midwife Vicky (Christine Bottomley), businesswoman Roanna (Hermione Norris), newlywed Jasmin (Taj Atwal) and teaching assistant and blogger Kim (Katherine Parkinson).

The first episode focuses particularly on housewife Diane (North-East actress Jill Halfpenny), who was told she and husband Rick (Will Mellor) would never conceive. In theory, they should be celebrating their ‘miracle child’, but when a scan reveals more than they bargained for, and unemployed Rick feels under increased pressure to provide for his family.

Meanwhile, 15-year-old Rosie (Hannah Midgley)  is trying to keep her pregnancy a secret from everyone, but that bump is getting ever hard to hide.

Coast
(BBC2, 8pm)

NICK Crane crosses the Atlantic to Nova Scotia to investigate why there was a flood of Scottish settlers to Canada two centuries ago. There’s also coverage of an archaeological dig which offers an invaluable insight into the 400-year-old secrets of the first English colony in the North American country. Outside Rugby, Tessa Dunlop visits a radio network to explore a story from the Falklands War, while in the Outer Hebrides The One Show veteran Miranda Krestovnikoff goes in search of Britain’s oldest puffin.

Historian Nick Hewitt examines the history of the Nab Towers. They were positioned in the Dover Straits to protect merchant shipping from German U-boats during the First World War.

Sexy Beasts
(BBC3, 10pm)

AM I only mentioning this halfbaked show because Rachael from County Durham is taking part?

You bet your licence fee payers’ waste of time I am. Rachael, like all the others, is disguised behind a terrifying latex mask as this returning six-parter attempts to show us that dating shouldn’t just be about good looks. Matt, made up to look like a mutt, is an apprentice engineer from Lincoln, who will be chatting up three women. Besides our North-East contestant, who looks like a demon and says she’s looking for a superhero (pass the sick bag please), there’s Amber from Romford, who has green skin, hair and a reptilian face. The disguises are only removed once the four have decided if there will be a second meet. I think it’s time to don the mask of shame and leave.