Britain’s Poshest Nannies (ITV, 9pm)

SPIT-SPOT, as Mary Poppins would say, there is just an hour to clear up what today’s nannies do as as the elite graduates from Norland College, Bath – which has been training women for childcare for the past 120 years – start looking for young charges.

The college was founded in 1892 by Emily Ward, and most go to the rich and famous, including most recently the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. It's a college well-known for it rigorous rules, traditional uniform and clean white gloves, and at £13,000 a year, the pressure is on for its students to succeed.

Those seeking to be practically perfect in every way include 19-year-old Laura Styles, who has always wanted to be a Norland nanny, and 20-year-old Georgina who told her mum when she was a little girl that she'd grow up to have 100 children. Another, Keziah, says: "If you're going to be a nanny you might as well go to Norland, because it's the top of the top and it's the best thing you can do."

She and the rest of the pupils undertake academic lessons and training including cooking and sewing, alongside lessons in how to keep a baby happy. The latter sees them looking after virtual babies, and they're tasked with keeping the baby happy for 48 hours. Today’s skills also include advanced driving skills and escaping pursuing paparazzi, taking corners at speed in rain and keeping children safe from possible attack.

The students are also shown letting their hair down before having to think about what type of family they want to work for after leaving Norland. All are daughters of proud parents who believe that whichever family their girl ends up working for, they're very lucky indeed. It’s just a pity that we never learn which family is going to get that spoonful of sugar moment.

Million Dollar Intern (Watch, 8pm)

I’VE been squirming through the previews of this new series knowing full well that the North-East’s very own Sadie the Bra Lady was going to make an appearance, having spotted Ms Ayton clutching an enormous black item of underwear and discussing going bust.

New York entrepreneur Juliette has the task of turning Sadie’s fortunes around in this new twist of putting a successful businessperson on the shopfloor to get an eye-full of what the real problems are. There is an age gap and culture clash to get across as Juliette reveals she is no novice learning the trade and tries to find a way of dragging Sadie up-to-date by the bra straps.

Black Market Britain: Undercover Sting (Channel 5, 8pm)

Investigative journalist Paul Connolly reveals the extent of Britain's black market in fake fags and dodgy tobacco, and it makes for shocking viewing at times. Times are hard and, when it comes to smoking, people seem to be willing to put a bargain before their health. In tonight's episode, Connolly follows the trail from the under-the-counter trade in corner shops to multimillion-pound deals to bring cigarettes into the country from Europe.

He begins by looking into how easy it is to buy illegal cigarettes from stalls and shops and in pub car parks, but the real shock comes when he tests some of the tobacco in the laboratory and its true contents are revealed. Connolly also explores the murky world of 'tab houses' from which smuggled goods are sold, and travels to Belgium and Poland to meet the people behind the scams.